Plain Truth for Young Men

How can you honor God as a young man? In this series we'll explore that question in the areas of decision-making, sexuality, and finances.

Make a Decision and Make it Work

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As Christians, we know that God’s Word is the final authority in our lives. So, when we’re seeking to make a decision, the first thing we should ask is, “Has God’s Word already made this decision for me?” Although there are some black and white decisions, there are many situations where both decisions may be God-honoring. In these situations, we should seek to choose “the best” rather than “the good.” Let’s explore some practical tips to make Godly decisions and seek His will.

Ask if God’s Word has already made the decision for you

The Bible is full of wisdom and guidance that can help us make decisions. When we’re facing a tough decision, we should start by looking for relevant scriptures that can guide us. For example, if we’re trying to decide whether to take a job offer, we can seek guidance from the Bible on how to handle work, money, and priorities. By studying the Bible, we can gain insight into what God values and how to align our decisions with His will.

Seek to choose “the best” rather than “the good”

Sometimes, there are situations where both options are God-honoring. For example, if we’re trying to decide between two mission trips, we can pray for discernment and seek wise counsel to determine which one will have the greatest impact for God’s kingdom. We should seek to choose “the best” option, which is the one that will most effectively advance God’s purposes.

Listen to God’s Spirit, Word, and people

God speaks to us in many ways. When we’re seeking His will for a decision in our lives, we should listen to His Spirit, Word, and people. The Holy Spirit can provide us with wisdom and guidance, the Bible can reveal His truth and guidance, and wise counsel from other believers can give us insight and confirmation. We should be open to hearing from all three sources and seek to discern what God is saying to us.

Move forward with faith in God’s sovereignty

Once a decision has been made, we should move forward with gratitude, energy, and faith in God’s sovereignty. Sometimes God is as concerned with how we go through the door as He is with which door we choose. We should trust that God is leading us and that He has a plan for our lives. We can move forward with joy and confidence, knowing that we have sought God’s will and made the best decision possible.

In conclusion, making Godly decisions is a process that involves seeking God’s Word, listening to His Spirit, Word, and people, and choosing the best option with gratitude and faith. By following these principles, we can align our decisions with God’s will and experience the peace and blessings that come from living a God-honoring life.

Talking Points:
  • God’s Word is the final authority in our life.  When we’re seeking to make a decision, the first thing we should ask is, “Has God’s Word already made this decision for me?” Psalm 119:11, Proverbs 14:15-16
  • Although there are black and white decisions, there are many situations where both decisions may be God honoring.  In these situations, seek to choose “the best” rather than “the good”.  
  • When seeking God’s will for a decision in our life, he speaks to us through his Word, his Spirit, and his people. Practice listening to all three to make better decisions. James 1:5, Proverbs 15:22
  • Once a decision has been made, move forward with gratitude, energy, and faith in God’s sovereignty.  Sometimes God is as concerned with how we go through the door as he is with which door we choose. Romans 8:28
Discussion:
  1. Would you describe yourself as decisive or indecisive? 
  2. Describe a situation where God’s Word helped you come to a decision that, in the end, was really a no-brainer?
  3. Describe a time where you sought out advice from others that helped you make a better decision.
  4. Once you make a decision, do you tend to second guess yourself? If you do, how can today’s topic help you?
  5. Is there a decision you need to make now that you’ve been putting off?  How can listening to God’s Word, the Holy Spirit, and his people help you make it?

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Here’s How To Money

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Money plays a significant role in our lives. It’s a tool we use to buy our necessities, wants, and desires. We work hard to earn money to provide for ourselves and our families. However, the way we view money can either bring freedom or keep us enslaved to it. Luke 12:13-34 offers insights into how God wants us to view and use our money.

Stewardship vs. Ownership

The first step in understanding stewardship vs. ownership is to define them. Ownership means having complete control and possession over something. When we own something, we have the right to do whatever we want with it. Stewardship, on the other hand, means managing or taking care of something that belongs to someone else. As Christians, we believe that everything we have belongs to God, and we are called to manage it wisely.

Chasing After the World’s Treasures

Our culture often promotes ownership over stewardship. We’re told that we need to accumulate more things, have a bigger house, a newer car, and the latest gadgets. The problem with this mindset is that it leaves us wanting more, and we never find true satisfaction. We become anxious about losing what we have and always looking for the next best thing.

Discipline and Generosity

Stewardship requires discipline and generosity. We need to be disciplined in our spending habits, saving for the future, and avoiding debt. Generosity involves giving our time, talents, and resources to help others. When we use our money to bless others, we experience the joy of giving and become less focused on ourselves. The combination of discipline and generosity is a powerful way to manage our finances and find freedom.

God Isn’t Anti-Wealth

It’s essential to note that God isn’t against wealth. In fact, many of the heroes in the Bible were wealthy, such as Abraham, Job, and Solomon. However, God wants us to have wealth that isn’t temporary. He desires for us to be good stewards of the resources he has given us and to use our wealth to advance His kingdom.

Talking Points:
  • Click here for our free budget spreadsheet. NOTE: To edit the spreadsheet, click on “file” in the menu and then click “make a copy”.
  • Getting our minds right about stewardship vs. ownership is critical in experiencing freedom and peace with our money. Psalm 50:10-12 
  • Chasing after the world’s treasures fills us with anxiety and always leaves us wanting. Luke 12:13-34
  • Discipline and generosity are a powerful combination that brings victory in our finances. Proverbs 22:7
  • God isn’t anti-wealth, but he wants you to have wealth that isn’t temporary. Luke 12:34
Discussion:
  1. Who taught you the most about money and finances as you were growing up? Where do you get most of your financial advice now? 
  2. Do you consider yourself an owner or steward of the financial resources you have?  How does Psalm 50:10-12 help to give us the right mindset? 
  3. Is there a time when you saved up for something you really wanted, and once you purchased it, you were disappointed? 
  4. Read Luke 12:13-34. Which of the save, share, spend categories of money is God calling you to improve in? 
  5. List some ways that God has been generous to you.  How do the combination of discipline and generosity bring us victory in our finances?  

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Run From Porn

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Talking Points:
  • God’s Word instructs us to flee from sexual immorality, not see how close we can get without giving into temptation. 
  • Pornography is a distortion of God’s gift of sex within the marriage relationship.  It will distort your expectations and set you up for a lifetime of disappointment and hurt.  
  • Our first strategy should be to flee, but we should also link up with other Christian men who can help us fight this battle. 
  • God is not holding out on us and his grace is bigger than failures we’ve made in this area. 
Discussion:
  1. Read 1 Corinthians 6:18.Why do you think God calls us to flee sexual immorality instead of standing and fighting against it?
  2. Read Ecclesiastes 4:12. What are practical ways you can flee from porn or other sexual temptations?
  3. If you’ve struggled with porn, what are some of the ways it may have distorted your view of God’s design for sex and physical intimacy within a marriage? 
  4. Do you think it’s easier or harder to run from porn once you’re married? Why? 
  5. What are some areas in your life where you’ve found God’s boundaries to be helpful?  How can those examples build your faith that God’s boundaries in the area of sexual sin are also helpful? 

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Go Find a Wife

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Marriage Is a Good Thing

  • Our spouse is a help mate from God 
    • Genesis 2:18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”
    • Proverbs 18:22 The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.
    • Married my best  friend: Post Honeymoon/first year life together.  Proverbs 31  She challenges me to grow deeper in my faith.  Yesterday’s interaction, encouragement and questions
    • (John Piper: “The Divine calling of a wife is to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help him carry through according to her gifts”….Every guy knows he needs a helper)
    • Tactical viewpoint:: The best flight leads know when to have their wingman take the tactical lead of the formation
    • Our spouse is just right. Their strengths and weaknesses complement our strengths and weaknesses.  Their femininity works together with our masculinity
    • Sacred Marriage: Eugenia isn’t just my wife; she is also God’s Daughter and I must treat accordingly.  If you want to get on my good side, be good to my kids, and vice versa
    • Tactically speaking (Wingman Concept): Ecclesiastes 4:12: A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but TWO can stand back to back and conquer. Three are even better for a triple braided cord is not easily broken. 
  • Marriage sanctifies us and helps us to look more like Jesus
    • Ephesians 5:25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.
    • Marriage is your first ministry.  When the world sees a God honoring marriage, one that honors each other, one that is submissive and sacrificial, the world will question “why”.  Marriage is a reflection of Christ’s relationship with the Church.  Husband represents “Christ’s” role and the wife represents the “Church” role.  When I stand before the Lord, I desire to have a wife that is honoring to the Lord, empowered, secure, and confident; and Children who love the Lord, feel loved by me.  Versus, having accomplished all these wonderful achievements in my life, career, and even “ministry” yet have lost my children to the world and a bitter and angry wife to me.
  • Marriage helps battle sexual immorality
    • 1 Corinthians 7:9 But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.

Contentment vs Passivity

  • We’re not saying single is bad. God can use us in ways when we’re single that he likely won’t once we’re married. Single is not less than. 
    • 1 Corinthians 7:32  I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 
  • Marriage can be an idol in our life when we make it the most important thing 
    • Philippians 4:11-13 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
    • Marriage and your wife is not to be your primary focus/idol; the Lord is.  If you focus on God, she will love you more. It will be easy for her to “submit”/ respect  to your leadership because you are sacrificing your desires for hers as you become more sacrificial as Christ was/is and as you submit to His authority (3 braided rope).
  • It’s one thing to be single and content; it’s something else to be single and passive. The calling to leadership starts by taking the initiative in pursuing a wife.  
    • Leading as a husband— first leadership opportunity after leading ourselves for most and the first person most get to unconditionally love (Romans 8:38-39), live selflessly for (Phil 2:3), sacrifice for (John 3:16), become a tender warrior for (Col 3:19)  and serve (Mark 10:45) as Christ did.
  • Don’t fear rejection. When we know who we are in Christ and we know what the God of the universe says about us, rejection isn’t that big of a deal. 

What Should I be Looking for? 

  • Most of us don’t have the benefit of being told exactly where to go or from which family we should seek our wife like the characters in the OT 
  • Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
  • See also: The 30 scale
  • Be on mission together  
Talking Points:
  • Today’s culture is moving away from marriage covenants. That’s moving in the wrong direction. Godly young men should start thinking and praying about their future wives.
  • The man who finds a wife finds a treasure. Her femininity works together with his masculinity, just like God designed it to work. Proverbs 18:22, Genesis 2:18
  • Marriage sanctifies us and helps us to look more like Jesus. It also helps battle sexual immorality. Ephesians 5:25, 1 Corinthians 7:9
  • The calling to spiritual leadership starts by taking the initiative in pursuing a wife. It’s one thing to be single and content; it’s something else to be single and passive. 1 Corinthians 7:32-33
Discussion:
  1. Describe the attitude toward marriage that your guy friends have. Where do you think that attitude comes from?
  2. Read Proverbs 18:22 and Genesis 2:18. Give an example of your mom’s femininity working together with your dad’s masculinity. Give an example of when it hasn’t worked well.
  3. Read Ephesians 5:25 and 1 Corinthians 7:9. How does marriage “sanctify” us? Make a list.
  4. Read 1 Corinthians 7:32-33. Describe the biblical concept of spiritual leadership in the home. Why do some people reject this idea?
  5. What are you looking for in a wife? Make a list, and then start praying regularly over it.

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