The best way to start a mentoring relationship is usually simple and low-pressure. After praying about who to invest in, invite that person to coffee or lunch to talk about a specific topic that matters to them, or to work through a short study together. You don’t need to use the word “mentoring” at all. Share how a mentor has helped you, and let the relationship grow naturally from there.
You Don’t Have to Call It Mentoring
Once you’ve been trained and have prayed about who to mentor, it’s normal to feel a little awkward about the next step. Walking up to someone and asking, “Can I be your mentor?” can feel strange for both of you. It might even make them wonder what you think is wrong with them. The good news is that you can begin to mentor someone without ever using the label.
Jesus often skipped the formal pitch. He simply invited people into a relationship with him and let the purpose unfold along the way.
Mark 1:17 “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.”
You can take the same approach. Invite a friend to coffee or lunch and say something like, “I learned some things about marriage that have really helped my marriage. I think they could help you too. Want to grab lunch and talk about it?” That’s an easy yes for most people, and it opens the door to an ongoing conversation.
Invite Them Around a Specific Need
Vague invitations rarely work. If you ask someone to meet just to “talk about faith” or “go over the Bible,” they may not know what they’re signing up for. People respond much better when you offer help with a real question or need they already have. Think about the conversation in Acts 8, when Philip met an Ethiopian official who was reading Scripture but struggling to understand it.
Acts 8:30-31 Then Philip ran up to the chariot and heard the man reading Isaiah the prophet. “Do you understand what you are reading?” Philip asked. “How can I,” he said, “unless someone explains it to me?” So he invited Philip to come up and sit with him.
Philip started where the man already was. You can do the same. You might say, “We’ve talked a few times about whether we can trust the Bible, and I can tell you still have questions. Would you want to go through a simple three-week study on that with me? It really helped me.” A specific topic or a short series with a clear end date makes the invitation concrete and easy to accept. For a simple first meeting, check out how PursueGOD mentoring works.
Share How Mentoring Has Helped You
When people see the real benefits of mentoring, their attitude about the whole idea changes. One of the most powerful things you can do is tell your own story. Share honestly what it has meant to have someone in your life who prays for you, asks good questions, and helps you find answers in God’s Word. God designed us to grow this way, side by side.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
You might say, “Having a mentor felt a little weird at first, but it’s been great to have someone I can talk with about real issues. Together we figure out what God says about the things that matter most.” Your honesty can lower someone’s guard and help them see that this isn’t a program or a project. It’s the kind of authentic relationship we were created for, where “iron sharpens iron” (Proverbs 27:17).
The Takeaway
How do you start a mentoring relationship? Pray, then keep it simple. Invite someone into a relaxed conversation around a specific need, skip the formal label if it helps, and share how mentoring has shaped your own walk with God. You’re offering the kind of real, life-giving relationship God built all of us to have.
