To mentor an engaged couple, help them prepare for a marriage, not just a wedding. Start with the Couple’s Survey in the premarriage workbook, then meet weekly to walk through the Tying the Knot series. Each lesson covers an essential topic, from God’s design for marriage to love, trust, communication, money and sex. Along the way, you’ll help them build healthy habits before they say “I do.”
Start with the Couple’s Survey
Engaged couples are often so focused on wedding plans that they haven’t talked through the big questions. The Couple’s Survey in the Tying the Knot workbook helps them reflect on their backgrounds, expectations and potential challenges. Ask them to complete it separately before your first meeting.
Use that first meeting to get to know them, hear their story and talk through what surprised them on the survey. Differences in expectations aren’t red flags by themselves; they’re conversation starters. Your goal is to help them talk openly now, so they’re ready to keep talking later.
Walk Through Tying the Knot
The series begins with an honest question: Am I ready to get married? From there, couples learn to build their marriage on God’s design:
Genesis 2:24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
Next come the three pillars of a healthy marriage: choosing love, earning trust and learning to keep talking. Then the series tackles practical topics like combining finances and God’s plan for sex, with a bonus lesson on planning a Christ-centered wedding. Cover one lesson each week, and ask the couple to read or listen ahead of time and work through the matching workbook pages.
Prepare Them for a Lifetime
Premarriage mentoring is a unique window. Couples are usually teachable and hopeful, and habits formed now can shape decades of marriage. Encourage them to practice what they’re learning: praying together, handling disagreements well and talking honestly about money and expectations.
Ephesians 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Be honest about what marriage is really like, including the hard parts. If serious concerns surface, such as unresolved addiction, abuse or deep disagreement about faith, address them gently and involve a pastor or counselor. After the wedding, check in during the first year. Newlyweds benefit greatly from a couple who keeps cheering them on.
The Takeaway
How do you mentor an engaged couple? Start with the Couple’s Survey, walk through Tying the Knot one lesson at a time and help them build habits that will last a lifetime, not just a wedding day.
