Talking Points:
- Healthy couples keep talking, even when it leads to conflict. Fighting is good and helpful if you do it the right way. Ephesians 4:29
- Avoid the three unhealthy “Fight Languages”: escalation, withdrawal, and invalidation. These habits become the issues that derail you from talking about the issue you’re trying to solve.
- Healthy communicators use “I feel…because” statements instead of pointing fingers at their spouse. Learn to be an active listener and work together to find solutions.
Discussion:
- How did your parents fight? What did their example teach you about conflict?
- On a scale from 1-10, when you argue how often do you feel like your fiance doesn’t understand your point of view? In your opinion, what contributes to the breakdown?
- What’s your primary “Fight Language”? How has that gotten you into trouble in the past?
- Read Ephesians 4:29. On a scale from 1-10, rate your ability to use your words constructively. In what ways can you improve?
- Review the good habits of communication. Which skill do you need to work on the most? How can those skills help you the next time you have a conflict?
- Why are action steps important in resolving conflict? What is likely to happen if you don’t formulate a plan?
- Homework: Peruse the other topics found in the #premarriage tab and choose a few more topics to do either as a couple or with your marriage mentors.
See Also: