To mentor a married couple, meet regularly and walk through a proven set of conversation starters together, one lesson at a time. The Marriage Basics series gives you a ready-made path through ten essential topics, from avoiding the roommate rut to love, trust, communication, money and sex. Your job is to build trust, guide honest conversations and keep pointing the couple to God’s design for marriage.
Set Clear Expectations
Start by agreeing on a plan. How often will you meet? Weekly or every other week works well. Where will you meet, and for how long? Explain that you’ll cover one lesson each time, that both spouses should read or listen ahead of time and that what’s shared stays confidential unless someone is in danger.
Use your first meeting to get to know each other and hear what the couple hopes for. Some couples want a tune-up; others are in a hard season. Knowing their goals helps you know which lessons may need extra time.
Proverbs 24:3-4 By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.
Marriage mentoring is about building wisdom into a home. Clear expectations give that process a strong foundation.
Walk Through Marriage Basics
Marriage Basics is organized around three pillars: choose love, earn trust and keep talking. The first lessons help couples escape the roommate rut, choose love as an action, build a love map and understand personality differences. The middle lessons cover earning trust and practicing forgiveness. The final lessons focus on communication, expectations, money and sex.
Each lesson includes an article and discussion questions, and many also have group guides. A simple meeting rhythm works well: catch up for a few minutes, discuss the questions together, share how the topic has played out in your own marriage and pray. Your honesty about your own struggles often gives a couple permission to be honest about theirs.
Adapt to the Couple’s Needs
Not every couple will move through the series at the same pace. If a topic stirs up conflict or pain, slow down. Spend another session on it, or pull in a related conversation starter from the pursuegod.org library. Watch for signs that a counselor is needed, such as abuse, addiction or an affair, and refer them while staying involved as friends.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
A marriage with Christ at the center is strong. As you finish the series, celebrate the growth you’ve seen, and challenge the couple to keep investing in their marriage. Someday, they may be ready to mentor another couple themselves.
The Takeaway
How do you mentor a married couple? Set clear expectations, walk through Marriage Basics one lesson at a time, share your own story honestly and adapt to the couple’s needs, always pointing them to Christ.
