In Matthew 5, Jesus explores how his people will reflect his kingship in their lives. In doing so, he teaches his listeners how to understand and apply God’s law, given in the Old Testament through Moses. He uses a series of six contrasting statements to point them beyond the common ways people understood the law toward its true intent.
Matthew 5:31-32 states Jesus’ third contrast (or “antithesis”), as he tackles the challenging subject of divorce. The law of Moses allowed a man to divorce his wife, as long as he gave her a certificate of divorce (Deuteronomy 24:1-4). Yet the law did not state on what grounds a man could take that action. Jewish teachers in Jesus’ day disagreed about this. Some went so far as to say that a man could divorce his wife if she cooked a bad meal. But as before, Jesus reveals the heart behind the Old Testament law: “But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Matthew 5:32). Here’s the truth behind Jesus’ message:
Marriage was God’s idea, and it’s more than just a piece of paper.
This is not the only place in the Bible where Jesus taught about marriage. Taken together, his statements are rooted in God’s original vision for marriage (Genesis 2:18-25) as a holy union designed to bless men, women, and their children. In this original vision, marriage partners help, care for and complete each other. A man and a woman become one in every way, forming a new family unit. God’s plan for marriage was “very good” (Genesis 1:31).
So why did the Old Testament law permit divorce? Jesus called it a concession to human sin and brokenness (Mark 10:5). Yet when asked about divorce, Jesus did not endorse the Jewish status quo. Instead, he pointed his hearers back to God’s original design (Mark 10:6-8). Quoting Genesis 2:24, he commented, “Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together” (Mark 10:8-9).
When married couples stay together, they can experience all the blessing that comes from following God’s good design.
Divorce is not the easy way out.
Divorce is prevalent in our culture today, in part because many people look at divorce as the easy way out of an unpleasant or inconvenient situation. But divorce is rarely easy. Even under the best of circumstances, it brings unintended consequences. Divorce causes a ripple effect that disrupts the whole family.
Jesus gives one example of the harm divorce can cause: “Everyone who divorces his wife…makes her commit adultery…” (Matthew 5:32). Why adultery? Because divorce does not dissolve the marriage in God’s eyes. Any sexual union outside of marriage is adultery, whether the marriage has been dissolved by the civil government or not. This was especially hard on women in the first century, when single women had no means of support. A divorced woman would have to marry. Her husband’s selfish action would bring harm to her by forcing her into sin.
This resonates with the warning given in Malachi 2:15-16, where God says, “I hate divorce!” One reason is the harm it does to women. “To divorce your wife,” God declares, “is to overwhelm her with cruelty” (Malachi 2:16). For example, in our own society, divorce puts a far greater financial strain and risk of poverty on women than men. There’s a second reason. Couples who don’t stay loyal to each other cannot bear and rear godly children as God desires (Mal 2:15). In light of these problems, the application that follows makes sense: “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful…” (2:16).
While the rabbis allowed divorce for many reasons – or for no reason at all – Jesus narrowed the list of exceptions to just one: “Except on the ground of sexual immorality” (Matthew 5:32). The word for “sexual immorality” is very broad. It doesn’t mean just adultery, as there is a specific word for that (as in verse 32). Scholars and pastors disagree about just how far “sexual immorality” goes, and thus what actions specifically provide justification for divorce. But while allowing divorce in limited situations, Jesus never recommends it. It is never Plan A. Jesus’ overall approach is that divorce should never be thought of as a God-ordained, morally neutral option. Even a permissible divorce is not free of harmful consequences.
While so many today are looking for a reason to divorce, followers of Jesus should be looking for all the reasons to stay married – both to experience the goodness of God’s original plan, and to avoid the destructive results.
The Jesus Way teaches us to be selfless and to fight for our marriages.
One reason the Bible presents a high view of marriage is that marriage vividly illustrates God’s love and commitment for us, his people. Ephesians 5:25-33 explains that a husband’s selfless love for his wife models Jesus’ sacrificial love for his church. A healthy marriage is one of the best examples of deep, self-giving, Christ-like love, because each partner thinks not only of him- or herself, but of the needs and concerns of the other. In fact, a Jesus-shaped selflessness is the basis for any rich, satisfying marriage relationship.
The Ephesians passage then quotes Genesis 2:24: “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Again, the New Testament goes back, not to the provisions of the Old Testament law, but to God’s original design. This “great mystery” of marriage unity established there serves as “an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one” (Ephesians 5:32). Your marriage isn’t just about you and your spouse. It has a far greater significance even than your own happiness. Marriage is a picture of something incredibly grand that the world needs to see: the love and union between Jesus and his people.
One final note: If you are divorced, you need to be assured of God’s unending love for you. Even though divorce hurts many people, it is not the unpardonable sin. As you agree with God’s perspective, acknowledge whatever part you had to play and come humbly to Jesus, he will forgive and restore.
