How to Stop Complaining
Complaining leads to more complaining - stuck in our own perspective forgetting God’s bigger plan.
Talking Points:
- Complaining puts our focus on our unmet desires rather than on God’s ability to accomplish his plan. Exodus 14:11-12, Numbers 11:4-9
- Three questions to overcome complaining:
- What can I do to make a difference here?
- Where is my perspective wrong? Philippians 2:17-18
- How has God blessed me outside of this? Psalm 103:2
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- What do you tend to complain about the most? How does complaining tend to affect your outlook and that of those around you?
- Read Exodus 14:10-13 and Numbers 11:4-9. Identify all that God had done for the Israelites in these verses. How have you been like the Israelites – taking God’s provision for granted and demanding more?
- Read Philippians 2:17-18. Do you more often need to change your circumstance or your perspective? Explain.
- Read Psalm 103:2. Share some of the blessings God has given you. In the past, how did your complaining get in the way of seeing God’s blessings?
- Read Philippians 4:6-7. How does this passage challenge you? How can thankfulness impact your perspective?
- How do you plan to incorporate the insights you’ve learned about complaining in your life moving forward?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
Stop Being So Critical
It’s easy to point out when someone else is doing everything wrong - but the reality is we aren’t perfect either.
Talking Points:
- Our words have the power to bring life or death – to build others up or tear them down. Proverbs 18:21
- Positive words encourage others, builds trust and promotes growth. Critical words tear others down, depletes trust and creates enmity and stunts growth. Proverbs 16:24, James 3:6, Ephesians 4:29
- Critical words come from a hardened heart. Luke 6:45
- Stop being critical in three practical steps:
- Find two positives.
- Be empathetic. Galatians 6:2
- Recognize your failings. Colossians 3:12
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- Share a time someone’s words really encouraged you. Share a time someone’s words really hurt you.
- Are there certain people or situations that causes you to struggle more with being critical? Explain.
- Read Proverbs 18:21 What do you think of Solomon’s description of the power of the tongue?
- Why do you think it’s so easy to be critical of others? How do you define a “critical spirit”?
- Read Luke 6:45. Put this verse in your own words. Describe what a hardened heart looks like.
- Of the three steps, which one is toughest for you to implement? Walk through how each step could change your hardened heart to a tender heart.
- Read Galatians 6:2 and Colossians 3:12. What are these verses saying about our responsibility? How do these verses challenge you?
- Read Ephesians 4:29. How will you start living out this verse at home, at work, in the community, at church?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
Don’t Be a Gossip
Gossip is so subtle it can just sneak up on you before you know you’re even doing it.
Talking Points:
- A gossip is a person with privileged information about someone who reveals that information to those who have no business knowing it. Proverbs 16:28
- Gossip is sin that hurts everyone involved – the gossip, the hearer of the gossip, and the one being gossiped about. Proverbs 17:4, Proverbs 18:8
- 3 steps to overcoming gossip:
- Analyze your heart. Psalm 139:23-24
- Evaluate the “why”. Proverbs 11:13
- Say “no” to gossip. Exodus 23:1
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- Share a time gossip really hurt or disrupted your life. How have you been guilty of gossip in the past?
- Read Proverbs 16:28. How have you seen gossip tear apart relationships in your family, community or church?
- Read Proverbs 18:8. Why is gossip so tantalizing to us? How have you seen gossip affect the way you view someone or how others view you?
- Read Psalm 139:23-24. What is in our hearts when we want to gossip? What does it look like practically to let God show any offense in us?
- In your opinion, what are some good guidelines for knowing when it’s appropriate to share privileged information with someone else? What are some safeguards you should put on yourself even when you feel like it’s permitted to share?
- Craig Groeschel says of gossip, “What you permit, you promote.” What does this mean to you? What is a healthy way to respond to gossip when you hear it?
- Read Proverbs 21:23. How do you need to put this verse into practice in your life? How will you avoid gossip moving forward?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
Three Things About Lying
Lying causes us to trade one thing for another. We either lie to protect ourselves or we lie for fear of hurting someone else.
Talking Points:
- We choose to lie because we think lying is better for us than telling the truth.
- Satan is the father of lies and is always tempting us to deceive others. John 8:44
- Break the cycle of lying:
- Be honest with yourself. 1 John 1:6
- Be honest with God. Psalm 139:23-24, Psalm 32:5
- Be honest with others. Ephesians 4:15
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- Share a time you were caught in a white lie. What did you learn from that experience?
- How have you heard people justify their reasons for lying?
- How have you fallen for the idea that sometimes lying is better than telling the truth?
- Read 1 John 1:5-7. Put this passage in your own words. How have you seen Christians fall victim to the idea that their faith is separate from their lifestyle?
- Read Psalm 32:5. Are there some things you still need to confess to God? Share if you’re comfortable. How do we experience freedom when we bring things into the light that were once kept secret? Share an example if you have one.
- Read Ephesians 4:15. What does it look like to speak the truth in love? Share a time someone was honest with you about a concern and did it in a healthy way. How did that impact you?
- Read Ephesians 4:25. How will you avoid the sin of lying/deception moving forward?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
- When People Make You Anxious
- Overcoming Self-Deception in Conflict
- Are Christians Supposed to Judge Others?
- Be the Bigger Person the Jesus Way
- How Do I Start a Hard Conversation?
- Don’t Be a Gossip
- Stop Being So Critical
- Four Roadblocks to an Apology
- How to Talk About Your Past Baggage in a Relationship
- Triangulation And The Fear Of Conflict
- Handling Emotions In Conflict Resolution
- Here’s Why Gossip is Toxic
- Triangulation Versus Wise Counsel
- Doing Conflict for the Good of Everyone
- The Power and Control Wheel of Abuse
- The Cycle of Abuse
- How to Deal with Rejection
- What Does It Mean To “Overlook A Minor Offense”?
