Emotional and relational health intersects at conflict resolution. Healthy relationships are marked by good conflict, not by no conflict.
Talking Points:
- Before you fight, analyze your own emotions, motives, and desired outcomes. Guard against the desire to win, and remind yourself that you only have part of the picture. 2 Peter 1:5-7
- When you fight, define your goals at the outset. Try to identify the shared purpose that makes conflict worth the effort. Romans 12:9-10
- Share your perspectives honestly and work toward a “shared pool of meaning.” Be ready to observe distress cues and adjust for safety. James 1:19, Proverbs 12:20
- Find solutions that are mutually agreeable. Be ready to compromise for the greater good. Romans 12:18
Discussion Questions:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- Reflect on one of your worst fights with someone. What went wrong and why?
- Why is it important to first analyze your own thoughts and motives before entering a conversation? How does it change your perspective on a conflict if you remember that you don’t have the full story yet?
- Read 2 Peter 1:5-7. Identify all that this passage says we should exhibit in our lives. How will these traits help us to enter conflict in a godly way?
- Why does identifying shared goals create a safer atmosphere for conflict? Why does it feel unsafe to enter a conversation without knowing the point?
- Read James 1:19 and Proverbs 12:20. How do you know when someone really wants to hear your perspective? How can you demonstrate a desire to hear other perspectives?
- What are some other signs people will exhibit when they feel uncomfortable and ready to shut down in a conflict?
- Read Romans 12:9-10. How can you show genuine love and honor for others, even when you’re at odds over something?
- Read Romans 12:18. What happens to relationships when solutions are never identified? How does that breed distrust among team members or in a marriage? How can solutions promote peace?
- Why is compromise so important in conflict resolution? How do you define the greater good in your relationships?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
Find the book Crucial Conversations here.
