The Bible teaches that making allowance for people’s faults means entering every relationship with the realistic expectation that people aren’t perfect. It is a proactive approach to love that decides, in advance, to extend grace rather than holding onto offense. Instead of being shocked or outraged when people let us down, we choose to patiently endure their weaknesses, recognizing that we also carry our own faults that require the same patience from others.
Expecting Imperfection in Relationships
One of the best ways to protect your heart from bitterness is to change your expectations. Many of us enter friendships or marriages expecting the other person to be the “perfect” version of themselves all the time. But the Bible reminds us that even the most loyal people can fail under pressure. We see this clearly in the life of Peter, one of Jesus’ closest friends.
Jesus knew Peter was going to fail Him before it even happened. He didn’t have an idealized version of Peter that couldn’t handle the truth. He understood the human condition. When we make allowance for faults, we aren’t being cynical; we’re being biblical. We recognize that we live in a fallen world where everyone—ourselves included—is prone to making mistakes, losing their temper, or being selfish.
Matthew 26:34 Jesus said to him, “I tell you the truth, Peter—this very night, before the rooster crows, you will deny three times that you even know me.”
By expecting imperfection, you take away the “shock value” of someone else’s sin. This doesn’t mean you excuse bad behavior, but it does mean you aren’t destroyed by it. You’ve already made room in your heart for the reality that people will trip up. This mindset allows you to stay in the relationship and work through the mess rather than walking away the moment things get difficult.
Proactive Rather Than Reactive Forgiveness
Making allowance for faults means you’ve decided to be proactive about forgiveness. Most of us wait until someone apologizes or “pays” for their mistake before we even consider forgiving them. That’s a reactive approach. But Jesus calls us to a much higher standard—one where forgiveness is a lifestyle we carry with us into every interaction.
When Peter asked Jesus if forgiving someone seven times was enough, he thought he was being incredibly generous. But Jesus’ response was radical. By saying “seventy times seven,” He was teaching that we shouldn’t even be keeping count. Making allowance means you’ve already decided to forgive the offense before it even occurs. You’re living with a “pre-forgiveness” mindset.
Matthew 18:21-22 Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!”
Here’s the good news: when you’re proactive about grace, you don’t stay a victim for long. You don’t let someone else’s failure dictate your emotional health. By making allowance for their faults, you keep the door open for restoration. You’re choosing to see the person through the lens of their potential in Christ rather than just their most recent mistake.
The Natural Response to Jesus
Ultimately, our ability to put up with the quirks, flaws, and sins of others is the natural overflow of being forgiven by Jesus. If we find ourselves being harsh, judgmental, or easily offended, it’s usually because we’ve forgotten how much grace we’ve received. A heart that is truly touched by the mercy of God becomes a heart that is naturally “tenderhearted” toward others.
The Apostle Paul connects these two things directly. He tells us that “making allowance” and “forgiving” are simply the ways we reflect the Lord’s character. Since God doesn’t hold our faults over our heads or wait for us to be perfect before He loves us, we don’t have the right to do that to the people in our lives. We’re simply passing on the same patience we’ve already been shown.
Colossians 3:13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
Consider this analogy: if someone gave you a billion dollars, you wouldn’t get upset over someone owing you five bucks. In the same way, the “debt” people owe us because of their faults is tiny compared to the debt Jesus canceled for us. When we live in that reality, making allowance for others doesn’t feel like a chore; it feels like the only logical response to the Gospel.
The Takeaway
Making allowance for people’s faults is a foundational part of living like Jesus. It means we stop demanding perfection from others and start offering the same patience and grace that God gives us every day. By expecting imperfection, choosing to be proactive with forgiveness, and remembering our own need for mercy, we can build stronger, healthier relationships. It’s about letting go of the small things and trusting God with the big things, ensuring that our hearts remain free from the poison of resentment.
