The Bible teaches that forgiving the unforgivable is possible only through the power of Jesus Christ, who modeled this by forgiving those who crucified Him. It isn’t a feeling or a sign that the sin wasn’t “that bad,” but a spiritual decision to release the offender to God’s justice. By leaning on God’s grace, we can let go of the soul-crushing weight of bitterness, even when the wrong committed against us feels humanly impossible to overlook.

The Reality of the “Unforgivable”

When we talk about the “unforgivable,” we’re usually talking about deep, life-altering trauma—betrayal, abuse, or loss caused by someone else’s malice. In these moments, the suggestion to “just forgive” can feel like an insult. Consider this: God doesn’t minimize your pain. He doesn’t look at a horrific act and call it “okay.” In fact, God hates sin and injustice more than we do.

Forgiveness for the “unforgivable” doesn’t mean you’re excusing the behavior or saying that it didn’t matter. You’re not calling the evil “good.” Instead, you’re acknowledging that the debt is real and the wound is deep, but you’re choosing to stop trying to collect payment yourself. When we hold onto the “unforgivable,” we stay tethered to the person who hurt us. Forgiving is the only way to cut that cord and start healing.

Luke 23:34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” And the soldiers gambled for his clothes by throwing dice.

Jesus uttered these words while being tortured and executed. He didn’t wait for his executioners to apologize or show remorse. He took the lead. This shows us that forgiveness is an act of the will that happens in the heart of the victim, regardless of the attitude of the perpetrator. It’s a radical move that releases you from the prison of the past.

Borrowing Strength from Christ

If we’re honest, some things are simply too big for us to forgive on our own. Our human capacity for grace has a limit. When we hit that wall, we have to stop trying to “try harder” and instead start leaning on the truth of the Bible. Christian forgiveness isn’t about finding some hidden well of goodness within yourself; it’s about drawing from the infinite well of grace that God has given you.

Consider the cross. Jesus took on the full weight of every “unforgivable” act ever committed. He paid the price for the very sins that caused your heart to break. When you struggle to forgive, you can tell God, “I can’t do this, but I know You can. Please forgive them through me.” This shift takes the pressure off your shoulders and puts the focus on God’s ability to heal and restore.

2 Corinthians 12:9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”

When we admit we’re too weak to forgive the “unforgivable,” we’re in the perfect position for God’s power to take over. He provides the “tenderheartedness” we lack. By focusing on how much we have been forgiven, we find the courage to extend that same grace, even to those who have caused us the most pain.

Trusting God with Justice

A major hurdle in forgiving deep wounds is the fear that the person will “get away with it.” We feel that if we let go of our anger, no one will be there to make sure justice is served. But the Bible offers a different perspective. It tells us that God is the ultimate Judge and that every single act—especially the ones we find “unforgivable”—will be accounted for.

Forgiving is actually an act of trust. You’re saying, “God, I’m handing this person over to You. You see what they did, and You are a perfectly just Judge. I’m going to step out of the way and let You handle the consequences.” This doesn’t mean you can’t involve the legal system or protect yourself; it just means you’re releasing the personal vendetta in your heart.

Romans 12:19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord.

When you trust God with justice, you’re free to focus on your own recovery. You don’t have to spend your energy wondering if they’re suffering enough or waiting for them to “pay.” You can rest in the fact that God’s justice is far more perfect and complete than any revenge we could ever dream up.

The Takeaway

Forgiving the unforgivable is a supernatural journey that begins with a decision to release the offender to God. It isn’t about forgetting the pain or excusing the sin, but about refusing to let bitterness define your life. By leaning on the grace of Jesus and trusting in God’s ultimate justice, you can find a level of peace that seems impossible. Remember, forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door to your own freedom, allowing you to move forward into the life God has planned for you.

Discuss and Dive Deeper

Talk about it:

  1. Read “The Takeaway” above as a group. What are your initial thoughts about the article?
  2. Why do we often feel like forgiving someone means we are saying their sin “wasn’t that bad”?
  3. How does the example of Jesus on the cross change your perspective on what is “unforgivable”?
  4. In what ways does holding onto a deep grudge actually keep you “tethered” to the person who hurt you?
  5. How can trusting in God’s ultimate justice help you let go of the desire for personal revenge?
  6. If someone is currently struggling with a deep wound, what is one practical way you can support them as they seek God’s help to forgive?

See also:

You’re Not the Boss of Me (Series)

Marriage Basics (Series)