Loving your enemies means choosing what’s good for the people who oppose you, hurt you, or don’t like you. Jesus didn’t ask us to feel warm affection for them. He asked us to pray for them and treat them with kindness. This isn’t just for their benefit. Hate traps us in bitterness, but love sets us free, connects us to Jesus, and reflects the heart of God, who loved us while we were his enemies.
God Never Said to Hate Your Enemy
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus made six contrasts between how God’s law was commonly understood and what God really intended. The sixth and final one is about our most difficult relationships.
Matthew 5:43-45 You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
Jesus quoted the Old Testament command to “love your neighbor” (Leviticus 19:18). But the Bible never says to hate your enemy. People had added that part, limiting love to those who loved them back. Jesus refused to let them twist God’s Word that way. Biblical love isn’t a feeling. It’s a choice to seek someone’s good, starting with prayer. Paul added, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink” (Romans 12:20).
Hate Imprisons Us
Jesus’ command can sound unrealistic, but holding on to hate takes a real toll on us. It often hides our own sin, because we’re so focused on what others did that we ignore our own attitudes. It also chains us to the people we resent. They live in our thoughts, and our anger keeps us tied to them. The Bible warns about what happens when bitterness takes root.
Hebrews 12:15 See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
Bitterness doesn’t stay contained. It spreads into our other relationships and poisons our hearts. Loving our enemies is how we break free.
Love Connects Us to Jesus
Jesus pointed out that loving people who love us back isn’t anything special. Even tax collectors and pagans do that (Matthew 5:46-47). Loving our enemies shows that we belong to Jesus, and it also changes us. When we choose to love someone who has hurt us, it becomes easier to admit our own sins and see others through the same grace Jesus has shown us.
Jesus offered a word picture that helps us understand how this works.
Matthew 11:29-30 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
When two oxen are yoked together, the stronger one carries most of the load, and they pull in the same direction. When we love our enemies, we’re pulling alongside Jesus, and he provides the strength we don’t have on our own.
Love Reflects the Heart of God
Loving our enemies is the ultimate expression of the Jesus way because it’s exactly how God treats us. God sends sunshine and rain on good and evil people alike (Matthew 5:45). And when we were opposed to him, he made the first move to restore our relationship.
Romans 5:10 For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!
Jesus died for us while we were still God’s enemies. When we love our enemies, we act like our Father and follow the example of our Savior. We can’t do this by gritting our teeth. It happens as we surrender our hurt to God and rely on his power. If you’d like to learn more about putting your faith in Jesus, check out How can I become a Christian?
The Takeaway
What does it mean to love your enemies? It means choosing their good, starting with prayer. Hate imprisons us, but love sets us free, connects us to Jesus, and reflects the heart of God, who loved us when we were his enemies.
