We should pray for other people the way Paul prayed for the Thessalonians: with gratitude, with a willingness to be part of God’s answer, and with eternity in view. In 1 Thessalonians 3:9-13, Paul thanks God for this young church, asks God to bring him back to them, and prays that their love would overflow and their hearts would be ready for Jesus’ return. His prayer gives us a simple pattern for praying for friends who are hurting and even for people who have hurt us.
Setting the Scene in 1 Thessalonians 3:9-13
In the previous passage (1 Thessalonians 2:17-3:8), Paul described how desperately he wanted to get back to Thessalonica. He had been forced out of the city after only a few weeks (Acts 17:1-10), and Satan had blocked his attempts to return. Unable to wait any longer, he sent Timothy to check on them. Timothy came back with great news: the Thessalonians were standing firm in their faith and love, even under persecution (1 Thessalonians 3:6). Paul’s relief was enormous. He wrote that now he could really live, since they were standing firm in the Lord.
This short prayer is Paul’s response to that report. It closes the first half of the letter, which has been mostly personal and historical. Starting in chapter 4, Paul will turn to practical instruction. In a sense, this prayer is the bridge. It looks back with gratitude and looks ahead to what the church still needed.
Start With Thanks
Paul begins where good prayer usually begins: with thanksgiving.
1 Thessalonians 3:9 How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you?
Paul’s question is almost playful. How could he ever thank God enough? These believers had faced social rejection, family pressure, and public accusations of disloyalty to Caesar. Yet they were still following Jesus. Paul didn’t take credit for that. He thanked God for it, because he knew their faith was God’s work.
Many Christians use the simple acronym PRAY to guide their prayers: Praise, Repent, Ask, Yield. Notice what comes first. Gratitude reorients our hearts before we bring our requests. When you pray for a friend, start by thanking God for them. What do you appreciate about them? Where have you seen God at work in their life?
This gets harder, and more important, when the person you’re praying for is difficult. Jesus didn’t leave that option on the table.
Matthew 5:44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…
Can you find something to be thankful for when it comes to that person? Maybe there were good moments in the past. Maybe you can see their God-given potential. Maybe you can thank God for the way he is using a painful situation to grow you. Gratitude doesn’t excuse what someone has done, but it shifts your heart away from bitterness and toward hope.
Ask How God Wants to Use You
Paul’s next request is surprising. Instead of only praying about the Thessalonians, he prays about his own role in their lives.
1 Thessalonians 3:10 Night and day we pray most earnestly that we may see you again and supply what is lacking in your faith.
The phrase translated “most earnestly” is a rare, intensified Greek word, hyperekperissou, which piles up prefixes to mean something like “super-abundantly” or “beyond all measure.” Paul uses the same word again in 1 Thessalonians 5:13 and in Ephesians 3:20, where God is able to do immeasurably more than we ask. Paul wasn’t mumbling a quick prayer. He was pleading with God night and day.
His goal was to “supply what is lacking” in their faith. The Greek verb is katartizō, which means to restore, equip, or put in order. It’s the same word Mark uses for fishermen mending their nets (Mark 1:19). Paul’s time in Thessalonica had been cut short, and there were real gaps in what these new believers understood. The next two chapters will fill some of those gaps, especially about sexual purity, work, and what happens to believers who die before Jesus returns (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18).
Here is the principle: when we pray for someone, we tend to focus only on them, either on what they’re going through or on what they’re doing wrong. Paul shows us another way. Pray about your part in their story. Ask, “God, how do you want to use me here? Show me how to encourage, equip, or lovingly confront.” Sometimes the answer will be a text sent in the middle of your prayer, a meal dropped off, or a book passed along.
Pray for God to Clear the Way
Paul then prays about the obstacle that had kept him away.
1 Thessalonians 3:11 Now may our God and Father himself and our Lord Jesus clear the way for us to come to you.
Satan had blocked Paul’s path (1 Thessalonians 2:18), so Paul asked God to clear it. Interestingly, Paul names two persons, God the Father and the Lord Jesus, but in Greek the verb is singular. Many scholars see this as a striking glimpse of how naturally the earliest Christians placed Jesus alongside the Father as one God acting together. And 1 Thessalonians is one of the earliest Christian letters we have, written only about twenty years after the resurrection (see the chronological order of the New Testament).
The principle for us is to pray for God to overcome relational barriers. That’s easy to pray for friends. It’s much harder for enemies. Reconciliation isn’t always in your control, and Paul admits as much elsewhere.
Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
You can’t make another person reconcile with you, but you can ask God to work where you can’t. Satan loves division. God loves connection.
Pray for Overflowing Love
Only now does Paul pray directly for the Thessalonians’ growth.
1 Thessalonians 3:12 May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you.
Paul prays that their love would grow in two directions: toward each other and toward everyone else. In a city where Christians were being harassed by their neighbors, “everyone else” included the very people making their lives hard. Paul doesn’t ask God to make the persecution stop. He asks God to make their love overflow, just as his own love overflowed toward them.
Try praying this over the difficult person in your life. “God, help them to love. And help me to love them.” Both requests are honest, because both are hard. Notice that Paul asks the Lord to make their love increase. Love like this isn’t something we manufacture. It’s something God produces in us.
Pray With Eternity in View
Paul ends by lifting his eyes to the horizon.
1 Thessalonians 3:13 May he strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all his holy ones.
This is the third time in the letter Paul has mentioned Jesus’ coming (1 Thessalonians 1:10; 2:19), and it won’t be the last. The Greek word is parousia, a term used for the official arrival of a king or emperor visiting a city. Paul wanted the Thessalonians’ hearts strengthened so that they would be blameless and holy when the true King arrived. The “holy ones” who come with Jesus may refer to angels, to believers who have died, or to both. Paul will soon explain what happens to those believers in more detail.
Praying with eternity in view keeps us from getting stuck on temporary issues: the trial a friend is facing, or the way someone has wronged us. Those things matter, but they aren’t the biggest thing. The biggest thing is whether a person is ready to meet Jesus. So pray for your friends’ endurance and holiness, and pray for your enemies’ salvation, that God would open their eyes to the gospel.
What This Means for Us
Paul’s prayer gives us a pattern we can use for just about anyone. Thank God for them. Ask how he wants to use you in their life. Ask him to overcome the barriers between you. Pray for their love to grow, and for yours. Then pray with eternity in view. If you’re looking for ways to build this into your life, see How Do I Develop a Consistent Daily Prayer Habit?
The hardest part for many of us will be praying this way for an enemy. But this kind of prayer changes us. It’s hard to stay bitter toward someone you’re thanking God for and asking him to bless.
The Takeaway
How should we pray for other people? Follow Paul’s pattern. Start with thanks, ask how God wants to use you in their life, pray for God to remove relational barriers, ask him to make their love and yours overflow, and keep Jesus’ return in view. This pattern works for hurting friends and even for the people who have hurt us.
