The Bible doesn’t mention dating, since it didn’t exist in Bible times, but it gives us clear principles. The first rule of dating is the first rule of all of life: love God first and foremost so you can love others well. From there, Scripture urges you to pursue relationships with wisdom, purity, and honesty, and to invite trusted people into your dating life instead of dating in isolation.
Start With Loving God First
If you’re a teenager, dating can feel like a huge deal. It’s exciting to like someone and have them like you back. It can also be confusing, stressful, and sometimes painful. You might wonder whether it’s okay to date, who you should date, and how to know if someone is right for you. That’s why it’s worth starting with what matters most.
When someone asked Jesus which command in the Bible was the greatest, he gave an answer that changes how we see every relationship, including dating.
Matthew 22:37-39 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
Jesus put loving God first and loving others second. The order matters. When God has first place in your heart, you won’t expect a boyfriend or girlfriend to fill a hole only he can fill. You’ll be more secure, more patient, and less desperate for attention. So the first step in Christian dating isn’t a step toward someone else. It’s a step toward Jesus.
Love the Person, Not Just the Feeling
Loving your neighbor as yourself applies to the person you’re dating too. That means caring about what’s best for them, not just what feels good to you. It means honoring their body, their emotions, their reputation, and their relationship with God. A good question to ask is this: “If this relationship ends, will this person be better off for having dated me?”
This is where purity comes in. God’s boundaries around sex aren’t there to ruin your fun. They protect you and the person you care about from the pain of giving away something meant for marriage. If you’ve already crossed lines you regret, there’s hope and a fresh start in Jesus. Check out What If I Crossed the Line in a Dating Relationship?.
It also means being picky in a good way. Paul tells believers not to be “yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). If your faith is the most important thing about you, it makes sense to date someone who shares it.
Don’t Date in Isolation
Here’s the truth about crushes: they can make you blind. When you’re infatuated with someone, it’s easy to overlook red flags, rush things, or ignore your own boundaries. That’s why one of the wisest things you can do is let the people who know you best, love you most, and are willing to call you out speak into your dating life.
Your parents, a youth leader, or a couple of trusted Christian friends can see things you can’t. They notice when someone treats you poorly, when you’re pulling away from God, or when the relationship is moving too fast. It’s tempting to keep a relationship private so no one can question it. But secrecy usually leads to bad choices. Resist the impulse to date in isolation.
Proverbs 27:6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
A real friend will risk hurting your feelings to tell you the truth. Flattery feels nice, but honest counsel protects you. Only people who love Christ more than they love you will be courageous enough to step in and say you’re wrong about the person, the timing, or the boundaries.
Listen When People Speak Up
Having trusted voices around you only helps if you actually listen. Most of us have been there: someone warned us about a relationship, and we got defensive. Maybe we even avoided them for a while. Later, we realized they were right.
Proverbs 12:15 The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.
Being teachable is a sign of wisdom, not weakness. When someone you trust raises a concern, don’t brush it off. Pray about it, think it through, and ask follow-up questions. You still get to make your own decisions, but you’ll make them with more than just your feelings to go on. That kind of humility will serve you well long after high school.
The Takeaway
What does the Bible say about dating? Love God first so you can love others well. Treat the person you’re dating with honor and purity. And don’t date alone. Invite the people who love you and love Jesus to speak into your relationships, and be humble enough to listen.
