You can date and honor God by treating the person you like as a brother or sister in Christ, not as someone you own. That means protecting each other’s purity, avoiding situations where temptation is likely, and encouraging each other to follow Jesus. It also means building a real friendship, because the kind of relationship that honors God now is the same kind that prepares you for a healthy marriage later.
What Does the Bible Say About Dating?
If you search the Bible for the word “dating,” you won’t find it. Dating as we know it didn’t exist in biblical times. In the Bible’s categories, the people around you are either brothers and sisters in Christ or husbands and wives. There isn’t really a middle category where you get to treat someone like a spouse before you’ve made the commitment of marriage.
That doesn’t mean dating is wrong. It just means the starting point for how you treat a boyfriend or girlfriend is how you’d treat a family member in God’s family. Paul gave his young friend Timothy a helpful way to think about relationships in the church.
1 Timothy 5:1-2 Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.
“With absolute purity” is a high bar, and that’s the point. If you’re a guy, treat the girl you like the way you’d want someone to treat your sister. If you’re a girl, treat the guy you like as a brother you want to see grow closer to God. Spending time together is great, but it should come with respect, honesty, and care for each other’s hearts.
How Do You Stay Pure While Dating?
God’s design is that sex belongs only in marriage between a husband and a wife. Staying pure while dating isn’t about how close you can get to the line without crossing it. It’s about positioning yourself so you’re not likely to stumble in the first place.
Remember that you’re not married to this person, so you have no claim on their body or their future. Your job is to use every resource you have to encourage them to pursue God. Practically, that might mean hanging out in groups or in public places, not being alone together in a bedroom or a parked car late at night, setting clear limits on physical affection before you’re in the moment, and being careful about what you text or send. Those choices aren’t about being uptight; they’re about protecting something valuable.
Romans 13:12-14 The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.
Notice the last line: don’t even plan ways to feed those desires. If you’ve already blown it, Jesus offers real forgiveness and a fresh start. Bring it to him, talk to a parent or mentor you trust, and set better boundaries going forward.
Why Does Friendship Matter So Much?
Here’s something people don’t always think about when they’re crushing on someone: if you end up married, you’ll spend most of your time just being together. Grocery runs, long drives, figuring out bills, hanging out on a Tuesday night. Romance matters, but friendship is the everyday glue of a good marriage.
Song of Songs 5:16 His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, this is my friend, daughters of Jerusalem.
In this love poem, the bride calls her husband both her beloved and her friend. So ask yourself some honest questions. Do you actually enjoy hanging out with this person? Can you talk about real things, laugh together, and disagree well? Do they make you want to follow Jesus more? When you date with friendship and faith at the center, you’re honoring God now and building the kind of foundation that will last if the relationship leads to marriage.
The Takeaway
To date and honor God in the process, treat the person you like as a brother or sister in Christ, guard each other’s purity, and encourage each other toward Jesus. Build a real friendship first, and trust that God’s way is the best path to a relationship worth having.
