Search for Significance (Women's Series)

Inspired by the book by Robert McGee, unpack the lies that distort our self-worth—and discover how God’s truth sets us free to live with peace, purpose, and unshakable identity in Christ.

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PursueGOD is a new kind of discipleship curriculum for an increasingly complicated world. We use podcasts on a variety of topics to offer no-nonsense answers to everyday questions. Then we organize these podcasts into series so you can use them to make disciples at church, home, or in the world. Here’s how it works:

  1. Pick a series from our homepage. There's plenty to choose from!
  2. Each series contains multiple lessons. Click on the numbered tabs to open each lesson.
  3. Start by listening to the podcast on your own, before you meet as a group. Take notes as needed, and listen again if it helps. Consider starting a discipleship journal to track what you're learning.
  4. Meet as a group to talk through what you learned from the podcast. Each lesson includes shownotes, talking points, and discussion questions. Click on the # tab to explore additional topics.
  5. Listen to the podcast above for more helpful tips or check out one of our many training series.

Shownotes

Feeling Like You’re Falling Short?

If you’ve ever scrolled through social media and felt like you’re falling short—you’re not alone. More and more people today are feeling anxious, empty, and unseen. Behind the highlight reels and filters is a deeper story: a world full of people trying to prove they matter.

Stats

  • 43% of adults are more anxious and depressed than a year ago

  • 1 in 7 moms experience postpartum depression

  • Young adults ages 18–25 years have the highest prevalence of major depressive episodes in the United States (National Institute of Mental Health, 2023)

  • 29% of adults experience some depressive diagnosis at some point in their lives

The Craving for Worth

This craving for worth isn’t new. It goes all the way back to the very first humans, who walked in perfect relationship with God—until a lie from the enemy broke everything. That lie is still alive today: You can define your own truth. You have to earn your worth. You are only as valuable as your performance or popularity.

The Lie in the Garden

Genesis 3:1-7
The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?” “Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied. “It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’” “You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.” The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.

What Happened Next

From the book:
“Here, Satan directly questioned God’s truthfulness, implying that Eve could have greater significance apart from God and that eating the forbidden fruit would reveal hidden knowledge, enabling her to know good from evil like God Himself. Being deceived, Eve traded God’s truth for the serpent’s lie. She ate the forbidden fruit. Then Adam followed her in sinful rebellion against God, and he, too, ate the forbidden fruit. One of the tragic implications of this event is that man lost his secure status with God and began to struggle with feelings of arrogance, inadequacy, and despair, valuing the opinions of others more than the truth of God.”

The Enemy’s Goal

This is what the enemy wants to do to us. He wants to confuse, deceive, and make us feel like God’s best is lacking and that we know best. We’re on the throne of our lives and we tell God what we want. It’s upside down and it leads to destruction.

John 10:10
“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”

The Truth in Jesus

But Jesus came to shatter that lie. Jesus came to offer us a rich and satisfying life. Over the next few weeks we’re going to unpack this lie.

Here’s the lie: Self-worth = performance + others’ opinions

We’ll dissect this faulty equation and replace lies with God’s truth!

Starting the Journey

So, how do we start this journey? McGee would say, turn on the light and reveal all your heart has hidden and stored that has led you to feel insignificant and unworthy.

Psalm 139:23-24
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”

If you’re serious about finding true significance, start here. Stop running. Lay it all down—the exhausting chase for approval, the need to prove yourself, the false identities you’ve built to impress others. Sit at the feet of Jesus, and ask Him what He really meant when He said He came to give you a rich and satisfying life.

Letting Christ Define You

2 Corinthians 5:14
Either way, Christ’s love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life.

“Christ’s love controls us.” That means His love—not our fears, not our insecurities, not our need to be noticed—is what defines and directs our lives.

Practical Steps

  • Be honest about your brokenness. You don’t need to hide it—God already sees it.

  • Reflect on the ways you’ve tried to earn value through performance or people-pleasing.

  • Acknowledge the checklist you’ve been using to measure your worth—and let it go.

  • Invite God’s Word to be your mirror, not the world’s opinion.

  • See both your wounds and the ones who wounded you not through judgment, but through the lens of grace.

Talking Points:
  • The human condition is marked by a deep desire to feel valued and significant, but we often search for that in the wrong places. Social media and cultural pressure reinforce a false version of ourselves that still leaves us feeling empty.
  • The roots of our identity crisis go all the way back to the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve traded God’s truth for a lie, believing they could define their own worth apart from Him. The lie self-worth = performance + others’ opinions. Genesis 3:1-7
  • But Jesus came to offer something better—a rich and satisfying life grounded in His love and truth. When we let God’s Word define us, we find peace, purpose, and grace to see ourselves and others through the eyes of Jesus. Psalm 139:23-24, 2 Corinthians 5:14, John 10:10
Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. On a scale from 1-10, how much do you struggle with self worth. (1 being never and 10 being always). Explain the number you gave yourself.
  3. What experiences have shaped how you view yourself, both positively and negatively.
  4. Read Genesis 3:1-7. How did the serpent confuse Eve? What damage did his tactics have on the relationship between Adam and Eve and with God?
  5. Jesus said in John 10:10 that His purpose is to give us “a rich and satisfying life.” What do you think He meant by that—and how does that contrast with the life the enemy offers?
  6. Read Psalm 139:23-24. What is one way you’ve been trying to earn your worth—through achievement, image, or relationships? 
  7. What excites you about taking this journey to significance in Christ? What scares you?

Shownotes

The Lie of the Performance Trap

If you’ve ever felt like you’re only as valuable as your achievements, you’re not alone. Our culture feeds us a lie that our worth is directly tied to how well we perform. It’s subtle but relentless—what school did you go to? What’s your job title? How successful are your kids? What neighborhood do you live in?

The Performance Trap

This is what the author calls the Lie of the Performance Trap:
“I must meet certain standards to feel good about myself.”

It’s a trap that affects everyone—whether you pull inward in fear or overextend yourself trying to impress. Either way, it’s rooted in the same fear: a fear of failure.

The Results Are Exhausting

And the results are exhausting. We feel anxious, self-critical, even angry—at ourselves, at others, at God. We wonder if we’ll ever be enough. And sadly, many of us start to believe we never will.

But here’s the truth that will set you free: It’s not about you.

A Better Way in the Gospel

The gospel gives us a better way. It introduces a radical new truth called justification—God declaring us righteous not because of what we’ve done, but because of what Jesus has already done on the cross.

You don’t need to keep performing. You don’t need to keep proving. You can stop striving and start resting in His grace.

Key Verses

Romans 5:6-9
“When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation.”

2 Corinthians 5:17
“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”

From the Book

“The focus of the Christian life should be on Christ, not on self-imposed regulations. Our experience of Christ’s lordship is dependent on our moment-by-moment attention to His instruction, not on our own regimented schedule.”

“As marvelous as it is, justification means more than forgiveness of sins. In the same act of love through which God forgave our sins, He also provided for our righteousness, the worthiness to stand in God’s presence. By imputing righteousness to us, God attributes Christ’s worth to us. The moment we accept Christ, God declares that we are no longer condemned sinners. Instead, we are forgiven, we receive Christ’s righteousness, and we are creatures who are fully pleasing to Him.”

The First Step Toward Freedom

This is the first and most important step in living a life of true significance. Freedom doesn’t come from your résumé—it comes from the righteousness of Christ.

Talking Points:
  • The performance trap tells us, “I must meet certain standards to feel good about myself.” Our culture reinforces this through constant measurement—status, success, image, and achievement.
    Galatians 2:16
  • Fear of failure drives us into two unhealthy extremes: we either hide in insecurity or strive in pride, performing for approval and pretending to have it all together.
  • The good news is that our identity isn’t based on what we do—it’s based on what Jesus has already done. The biblical doctrine of justification means we are declared righteous through faith, not performance. Romans 5:6-11, 2 Corinthians 5:16-17
Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. Think about the last time you felt pressure to “prove yourself.” Where did that come from—and how did it affect your mood, your relationships, or your spiritual life?
  3. The “performance trap” says, “I must meet certain standards to feel good about myself.” How have you seen that lie play out in your own life or in the lives of people around you?
  4. Read Romans 5:6-9. God showed His love “while we were still sinners.” Why is it so hard to believe we’re loved before we’ve done anything to earn it—and how might embracing that truth bring freedom?
  5. If you really believed that your worth comes from Christ’s righteousness—not your success or failure—what would look different in your everyday life? How would it impact how you treat yourself and others?
  6. Read 2 Corinthians 5:17. You are a new creation in Christ. How will you apply this foundational truth to combat the lie of the performance trap this week?

Shownotes

The Lie of the Approval Addict

Words have power. Maybe you’ve felt it firsthand—a passive-aggressive comment from a friend, criticism from a parent or teacher, or silence when you desperately needed affirmation. Those moments can stick with us for years. We replay them, absorb them, and begin to believe them. Why? Because deep down, we crave approval. We want to know we matter.

The Approval Lie

This is what some call “the lie of the approval addict”—
“I must be approved by certain others to feel good about myself.”

This lie plays out in two dangerous ways. Some people perform and people-please, exhausting themselves trying to win love and validation. Others shrink back in fear, avoiding vulnerability because they’re afraid of being truly seen and rejected. Either way, the fear of rejection distorts our relationships and controls our lives.

Proverbs 29:25
Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the LORD means safety.

From the Book

“Our response has been outer-directed, meaning that we try to copy the customs, dress, ideas, and behavioral patterns of a particular group, allowing the consensus of the group to determine what is correct for us. But conforming to a group will not fully provide the security we are so desperately seeking. Only God can provide that through His people, His Word, His Spirit, and His timing.”

The Good News

But there’s good news: God offers something better.

The biblical answer to the approval lie is reconciliation. Through Christ, we are no longer defined by other people’s opinions. We are accepted, loved, and secure—not because we earned it, but because Jesus gave everything to make us right with God.

From the Book

“Justification is the doctrine that explains the judicial facts of our forgiveness and righteousness in Christ. Reconciliation explains the relational aspect of our salvation. The moment we receive Christ by faith, we enter into a personal relationship with Him.”

Key Verses

Romans 5:10-11
For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.

Galatians 1:10
Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.

Your New Identity

God’s love isn’t conditional. He doesn’t wait for us to perform or get it all together. While we were still sinners, He paid the ultimate price to redeem us. His love can’t be earned, and it certainly isn’t owed—it’s freely given. And with that gift comes a double blessing: full forgiveness of our sins and a restored relationship with a holy God.

This is your new identity—not defined by your past, your performance, or other people’s opinions. You are not who they say you are. You are who He says you are.

Talking Points:
  • The lie of the approval addict says, “I must be approved by certain people to feel good about myself.” When we believe this, we become people-pleasers, perfectionists, or emotionally withdrawn.
    Proverbs 29:25
  • Fear of rejection leads to inauthenticity. We hide our true selves or manipulate situations to avoid disapproval. This creates codependency, resentment, control issues, and emotional distance.
  • God’s solution is reconciliation. In Christ, we are made new. Our sin no longer separates us from God—allowing us to have a relationship with the God of the universe. Romans 5:6-10, Galatians 1:10
Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. Think back to a time when someone’s words—good or bad—shaped how you saw yourself. What did those words make you believe about your value?
  3. The “approval lie” says we need certain people to validate us in order to feel okay. Who are you most tempted to impress—and how does that pressure show up in your choices or identity?
  4. Proverbs 29:25 warns us that fearing people is a trap. In what ways have you felt trapped by the fear of rejection?
  5. Read Romans 5:10-11 says we’ve been made “friends of God” through Jesus. Jesus went through a lot to reconcile a relationship with us. How does that truth challenge the way you see yourself?
  6. How will you apply the truth of reconciliation to combat the lie of the approval addict?

Shownotes

The Lie About Failure

If your worth is tied to how well you perform, then failure feels like a death sentence. Many people—even Christians—live under the lie that failure makes you unworthy of love and deserving of punishment.

This leads to the lie:
“Those who fail are unworthy of love and deserve to be punished.”

This mindset leads to self-condemnation, blame-shifting, bitterness, and unforgiveness.

A Picture from Genesis

Genesis 3:8-13
When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.” “Who told you that you were naked?” the Lord God asked. “Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?” The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.” Then the Lord God asked the woman, “What have you done?” “The serpent deceived me,” she replied. “That’s why I ate it.”

From the Book

“All of us fail, but this doesn’t mean that we are failures. We need to understand that failing can be a step toward maturity, not a permanent blot on our self-esteem. Like children first learning to walk, we all stumble and fall. And, just like children, we can pick ourselves up and begin again. We don’t have to allow failure to prevent us from being used by God.”

A Better Way Through Jesus

But there’s a better way to deal with failure: through Jesus and the biblical concept of propitiation.

Propitiation is a big theological word that means God’s wrath toward sin has been satisfied. It’s not about God ignoring sin—it’s about Jesus stepping in to absorb the full penalty we deserved. He bore our failure, our shame, and our guilt so we could be free from the cycle of self-condemnation and finger-pointing.

A Powerful Invitation

The writer of Hebrews offers a powerful invitation to anyone who feels like a failure:

Hebrews 4:14–16 (NLT)
“So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.”

Freedom from Condemnation

When we grasp this truth, we stop punishing ourselves or others. There’s no longer any need to carry bitterness, because the justice we crave has already been fulfilled—on the cross. The wrath is gone. The punishment is over. The love remains.

Colossians 3:13
Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Your Worth in Christ

If Jesus is your High Priest, then you don’t have to earn your worth anymore. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved. God has already dealt with your failures—and the failures of those who’ve hurt you.

Talking Points:
  • When you believe your value comes from what you achieve, failure feels like proof that you’re worthless. This mindset leads to shame, anxiety, and burnout.
  • If failure threatens our identity, we either turn inward with self-condemnation or lash out to protect our image by blaming others. Neither path brings healing.
  • Propitiation means Jesus absorbed the wrath we deserved. God’s justice was satisfied at the cross—so we no longer have to punish ourselves or others. Hebrews 4:14–16
Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. When was the last time failure made you feel unlovable or like you didn’t measure up? What thoughts or lies did you start to believe about yourself at that moment?
  3. Read Genesis 3:8-13. Adam and Eve responded to their failure with hiding and blame. How do you see those same patterns playing out in your own life—especially when you’re feeling exposed or ashamed?
  4. Why is it so easy to believe that failure deserves punishment—and how has that belief shaped the way you treat yourself or others when things go wrong?
  5. Read Hebrews 4:14-16. We can come boldly to God to receive mercy and grace. What keeps you from doing that? What would it look like to stop punishing yourself and run to God instead?
  6. Jesus already absorbed the penalty for both your failures and those who’ve hurt you. How should that change your heart and the way you deal with guilt, forgiveness, or resentment?

Shownotes

The Trap of Shame

Many people fall into the trap of believing that their failures define them. When we mess up, the enemy whispers lies that lead us into shame: “You are who you are and you’ll never change.”

These lies don’t just weigh us down—they stop us from moving forward. We begin to self-sabotage, numb the pain with destructive habits, and drown in self-pity.

This cycle of shame is exactly where the enemy wants to keep us: stuck, defeated, and powerless.

God’s Promise of Forgiveness

Micah 7:19

Once again you will have compassion on us. You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean!

Psalm 3:3

But you, O Lord, are a shield around me; you are my glory, the one who holds my head high.

Romans 8:1
So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.

The Hope of Regeneration

But God offers a better way. It’s called regeneration—a biblical concept that means new life, new identity, and real transformation from the inside out.

Regeneration isn’t just about trying harder or turning over a new leaf. It’s about receiving a brand-new heart and being made new through Jesus Christ.

Titus 3:5 (NLT)
He saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit.

2 Corinthians 5:17
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

The Story of Zacchaeus

Luke 19:1-10
Jesus entered Jericho and made his way through the town. There was a man there named Zacchaeus. He was the chief tax collector in the region, and he had become very rich. He tried to get a look at Jesus, but he was too short to see over the crowd. So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree beside the road, for Jesus was going to pass that way. When Jesus came by, he looked up at Zacchaeus and called him by name. “Zacchaeus!” he said. “Quick, come down! I must be a guest in your home today.” Zacchaeus quickly climbed down and took Jesus to his house in great excitement and joy. But the people were displeased. “He has gone to be the guest of a notorious sinner,” they grumbled. Meanwhile, Zacchaeus stood before the Lord and said, “I will give half my wealth to the poor, Lord, and if I have cheated people on their taxes, I will give them back four times as much!” Jesus responded, “Salvation has come to this home today, for this man has shown himself to be a true son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost.”

From the Book

“During dinner, Zaccheus experienced the unconditional love and acceptance of Christ. As a result, he became a different person. His self-concept was radically changed from a swindling, loathsome tax collector to a person who knew he was loved by God. His actions reflected this dramatic change. He pledged to repent of his sins and repay fourfold those he had swindled. He also promised to give half of his possessions to the poor. Through Christ, Zaccheus developed a new self-concept, new values, new goals, and new behavior.”

Your New Identity

When you place your faith in Christ, your identity changes. You’re no longer defined by your past or your failures. You are made new—a regenerated child of God with hope, purpose, and power to change.

From the book:
“The enemy of our souls does not want us to be freed from his lies. Expect spiritual battle, uneasy feelings, and some discouragement. But be patient and persistent! As you apply these principles, the time interval between your painful emotions and your ability to replace lies with the truth will generally become shorter and shorter. As you claim the truth of God’s Word, memorizing it and meditating on it, you may even find yourself responding with godly thoughts, emotions, and actions at the outset of difficult situations!”

Talking Points:
  • When we fail, the enemy doesn’t just accuse us—he wants to define us by that failure. Shame whispers, “You’ll never change,” and convinces us we’re beyond hope.  Romans 7:24-25 
  • When we believe we can’t change, we stop trying. Shame leads to a dangerous resignation. We self-sabotage, fall into addictions, and isolate ourselves, all while believing the lie that change is impossible.
  • Regeneration means your past doesn’t get the final word. Through the Holy Spirit, God gives us new birth—not a rebranded version of our old selves, but a brand-new identity in Christ. You are not who you used to be. You are not your worst moment. You are a new creation with a new calling. 2 Corinthians 5:17
  • Guilt is a temporary, self-focused emotion we feel when we’ve been caught doing something wrong and rarely leads to meaningful change. Conviction, on the other hand, is a God-centered response that acknowledges sin, leads to repentance, and inspires transformation. 2 Corinthians 7:10
Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. When you mess up or fall short, what kinds of thoughts run through your head? How do those thoughts affect your view of yourself—and where do you think they come from?
  3. The enemy loves to whisper, “You are who you are and you’ll never change.” Where in your life have you believed that lie—and how has it kept you stuck?
  4. Read Luke 19:1–10. What do you notice about Jesus’ approach to Zacchaeus? How does this story show the difference between shame and regeneration?
  5. Read Titus 3:5 and Romans 8:1. God saved us “not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy.” What does that tell you about your value and identity in Christ—even when you fail?
  6. What habits will you form moving forward to continue to walk in the freedom Jesus offers? How can you help others in their journey to significance in Christ?
  7. What are your biggest takeaways from this series? Which lie will be the biggest battle for you?

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