We are a hurried society. In fact it’s a badge of honor to have tons going on. It shows importance, value and competence. Here’s the problem, though. When we’re so over-committed and busy, we miss out on what’s most important. Today we’re talking about hectic stress.

Hectic stress is feeling pulled in a thousand directions. Overwhelmed by the schedule, responsibilities and the need to prove ourselves, we end up missing the point.

Maybe you’ve never stopped to think about why you put so much on yourselves. I know for me, it made me feel important-I had places to be and things to do. I liked when people would say, “how do you do it all.” 

We want to be the best wife who keeps a beautiful home, perfect well-rounded kids at school, in sports, dance or the arts. We have a career. It’s an endless pursuit of proving our value but actually that’s not where our value comes from. 

Martha was famous for being too busy to enjoy the most important thing-time with Jesus. Distracted by the tasks, she grew bitter at her sister when she had to do it all.

Luke 10: 38 As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. 39 Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. 40 But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”41 But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! 42 There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Martha got bogged down in the tasks. Mary saw the immediate opportunity. Jesus was in their home! Did it matter what was on the menu? Would Jesus think less of them for offering PBJ? 

This is what hectic stress does to us. We get distracted by the doing and we forget the being. Our tasks and accomplishments don’t make us relevant or worthy. Jesus does! He gives us value. He gives us purpose-not to elevate ourselves but to elevate Him. That’s why Jesus doesn’t rebuke Mary. She wasn’t being lazy. She understood the bigger priority was learning at the feet of Jesus.

So, what’s the cure for hectic stress?

The antidote is surrender. Instead of working to measure up to some contrived standard, rest in knowing that your value comes from Jesus. 

That was Mary’s posture-sitting at the feet symbolizes faith and surrender. Hearing and obeying Jesus’ teachings were paramount then and today.

• 3 S’s to surrender:
  • Start with what Jesus says about you. Ephesians 2:8-9. Romans 8
  • Stop trying to impress/control. Be honest about who you’re trying to impress stop trying to control/impress
  • Sift through your responsibilities and set boundaries

I have yet to meet someone who hasn’t experienced relational stress! God created us as relational beings yet we have a hard time fitting together sometimes. The reason- we have our own issues we’re dealing with and then we’re interacting with people who also have issues! 

Relational stress comes from our interactions with others. Whether at work, home or with friends, we have to navigate the feelings and expectations of those who may be toxic, demanding, or selfish 

Maybe it’s a family member who has unrealistic expectations or you found out a friend betrayed your trust, or a controlling co-worker has been putting you down to advance their own career. 

No matter the source, relational stress leaves us feeling uneasy. Do we confront the issue or do we brush it off? Do we try to make peace or do we just remove the person from our lives? And, when one relationship struggles, it causes all of our relationships to struggle. We’re irritable and hurt.

Abigail found herself in a tough spot – playing the peacemaker between her selfish husband and the future king. Her bravery to intervene subdued David’s rage and spared her husband’s life

1 Samuel 25:2-11 “There was a wealthy man from Maon who owned property near the town of Carmel. He had 3,000 sheep and 1,000 goats, and it was sheep-shearing time. This man’s name was Nabal, and his wife, Abigail, was a sensible and beautiful woman. But Nabal, a descendant of Caleb, was crude and mean in all his dealings. When David heard that Nabal was shearing his sheep, he sent ten of his young men to Carmel with this message for Nabal: “Peace and prosperity to you, your family, and everything you own! I am told that it is sheep-shearing time. While your shepherds stayed among us near Carmel, we never harmed them, and nothing was ever stolen from them. Ask your own men, and they will tell you this is true. So would you be kind to us, since we have come at a time of celebration? Please share any provisions you might have on hand with us and with your friend David.” David’s young men gave this message to Nabal in David’s name, and they waited for a reply. “Who is this fellow David?” Nabal sneered to the young men. “Who does this son of Jesse think he is? There are lots of servants these days who run away from their masters. Should I take my bread and my water and my meat that I’ve slaughtered for my shearers and give it to a band of outlaws who come from who knows where?””

1 Samuel 25:14-19“Meanwhile, one of Nabal’s servants went to Abigail and told her, “David sent messengers from the wilderness to greet our master, but he screamed insults at them. These men have been very good to us, and we never suffered any harm from them. Nothing was stolen from us the whole time they were with us. In fact, day and night they were like a wall of protection to us and the sheep. You need to know this and figure out what to do, for there is going to be trouble for our master and his whole family. He’s so ill-tempered that no one can even talk to him!” Abigail wasted no time. She quickly gathered 200 loaves of bread, two wineskins full of wine, five sheep that had been slaughtered, nearly a bushel of roasted grain, 100 clusters of raisins, and 200 fig cakes. She packed them on donkeys and said to her servants, “Go on ahead. I will follow you shortly.” But she didn’t tell her husband Nabal what she was doing.”

1 Samuel 25:23-26,30-31“When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed low before him. She fell at his feet and said, “I accept all blame in this matter, my Lord. Please listen to what I have to say. I know Nabal is a wicked and ill-tempered man; please don’t pay any attention to him. He is a fool, just as his name suggests. But I never even saw the young men you sent. “Now, my Lord, as surely as the Lord lives and you yourself live, since the Lord has kept you from murdering and taking vengeance into your own hands, let all your enemies and those who try to harm you be as cursed as Nabal is. When the Lord has done all he promised and has made you leader of Israel, don’t let this be a blemish on your record. Then your conscience won’t have to bear the staggering burden of needless bloodshed and vengeance. And when the Lord has done these great things for you, please remember me, your servant!””

The story of Abigail is a great example of how to deal with relational stress. First, Abigail was brave. As a woman, for her to go and address the future king was a big deal. Second, she came humbly (bowed low) and she brought peace offerings. Third, her message was clear. She reminded David of who he was and all God promised to do through him. She challenged him not to give into his base emotions of anger that would lead to murder but to be the bigger person reflective of his higher calling.

The antidote is peace. Instead of claiming your right to having it your way, seek to understand and be gracious.

Peace doesn’t mean we excuse bad behavior or let people walk all over us. Peace means we come to a person with their best in mind and with a desire to reconcile so much as it is up to us. 

‭‭3 P’s to Peacemaking

• Prepare -Be clear about your perspective
• Posture -Be open to hear their perspective
• Produce solutions

Think about that person with whom you are in conflict with right now. What do you need to do to promote peace? If you feel like you’ve done all that you can, then release that relationship for now. Pray for that person and pray for your heart to remain tender towards them and wait on God’s timing.

Have you been plagued by any of these questions: How are we going to afford college? What if I don’t get the job? Why can’t I get pregnant? Do we have enough for retirement?

Future stress comes from a fear of the future. Rather than trusting God’s vision for your life, you worry that it’s all up to you. 

It seems to come naturally for us to fear the future. Have we done enough, have we saved enough, did we give our kids the advantage over others? It’s rooted in the fallacy of control. We put the pressure on ourselves to have to do it all to make it happen.

But the Bible says that we shouldn’t worry about tomorrow. If God takes care of the flowers and the birds, He definitely has the ability to take care of us.

Hannah was distraught that she was barren. Mocked by others, she wondered if her chance would ever come.

1 Samuel 1:1-11 There was a man named Elkanah who lived in Ramah in the region of Zuph[a] in the hill country of Ephraim. He was the son of Jeroham, son of Elihu, son of Tohu, son of Zuph, of Ephraim. 2 Elkanah had two wives, Hannah and Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah did not.3 Each year Elkanah would travel to Shiloh to worship and sacrifice to the Lord of Heaven’s Armies at the Tabernacle. The priests of the Lord at that time were the two sons of Eli—Hophni and Phinehas. 4 On the days Elkanah presented his sacrifice, he would give portions of the meat to Peninnah and each of her children. 5 And though he loved Hannah, he would give her only one choice portion[b] because the Lord had given her no children. 6 So Peninnah would taunt Hannah and make fun of her because the Lord had kept her from having children. 7 Year after year it was the same—Peninnah would taunt Hannah as they went to the Tabernacle.[c] Each time, Hannah would be reduced to tears and would not even eat.10 Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord. 11 And she made this vow: “O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, if you will look upon my sorrow and answer my prayer and give me a son, then I will give him back to you. He will be yours for his entire lifetime, and as a sign that he has been dedicated to the Lord, his hair will never be cut.[e]

Hannah didn’t understand God’s timing and plan. She doubted that God was big enough to give her a future. But once that prayer was answered, she realized God did have a plan for her. Samuel goes on to be a priest and prophet who plays a pivotal role in the nation of Israel.

Here’s the question. Do we trust that God has a plan for us? Do we trust that it’s a good plan or that we need to tell God what to do?

The antidote is patience. Insteading of focusing on the story you’re writing, give God room to show you the plan he’s already prepared for you.

Psalm 139:13-16 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.15  You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

Proverbs 16:9 We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.

Three P’s of patience 

• Prep the soil of your heart ( remind yourself ways God has provided in the past. Be humble.
• Prepare- take steps toward your goals
• Permit God to lead by responding to doors opening and closing