Biblical Parenting (Series)

Discover how biblical truth speaks into modern parenting philosophies—from gentle parenting to authoritative approaches—equipping parents to raise children with grace, wisdom, and God-given authority.

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PursueGOD is a new kind of discipleship curriculum for an increasingly complicated world. We use podcasts on a variety of topics to offer no-nonsense answers to everyday questions. Then we organize these podcasts into series so you can use them to make disciples at church, home, or in the world. Here’s how it works:

  1. Pick a series from our homepage. There's plenty to choose from!
  2. Each series contains multiple lessons. Click on the numbered tabs to open each lesson.
  3. Start by listening to the podcast on your own, before you meet as a group. Take notes as needed, and listen again if it helps. Consider starting a discipleship journal to track what you're learning.
  4. Meet as a group to talk through what you learned from the podcast. Each lesson includes shownotes, talking points, and discussion questions. Click on the # tab to explore additional topics.
  5. Listen to the podcast above for more helpful tips or check out one of our many training series.

Shownotes

The Principle of Ownership in Parenting: A Biblical Approach

One of the greatest responsibilities a parent has is to raise children who are equipped to navigate the world with strong, biblically grounded values. A fundamental principle of parenting is the idea of “ownership”—that the ultimate goal is for our children to leave home with the values we have instilled in them firmly rooted in their hearts. This means moving from a phase where they “rent” these values—temporarily adopting them while under our guidance—to a place where they “own” them, making those values personal, enduring, and guiding their decisions as independent adults.

The Biblical Foundation of Ownership

Scripture provides a foundation for this principle, particularly in passages that emphasize training, teaching, and passing on faith to the next generation. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.” This well-known verse reflects the heart of biblical parenting—intentional training in godly ways. However, for this promise to hold true, children must internalize the faith and values taught to them. They must “own” these teachings so that they continue to live by them when parents are no longer watching.

Moses also spoke about this principle in Deuteronomy 6:6-7: “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” The goal is not merely that children hear the commandments but that they become imprinted on their hearts. Moses was calling parents to make God’s truth a natural part of everyday life, ingraining it deeply in their children so that it would influence them long after they left their parents’ homes.

From Renters to Owners

A crucial distinction for parents to understand is the difference between children being “renters” of values versus being “owners.” As long as children are under our care, there is a temptation to assume that because they obey the rules, they are fully committed to the values behind those rules. However, rented values are often temporary—children follow them when it’s convenient, but they haven’t necessarily embraced them as their own. The danger is that when parents are no longer present to enforce those values, the children may abandon them.

Ownership, on the other hand, happens when children take personal responsibility for their beliefs and decisions. When children “own” the values you’ve taught them, they continue to live by those values even when no one is watching. In Luke 6:45, Jesus says, “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” The values in their hearts will naturally influence their words and actions. True ownership transforms these values from external obligations into internal convictions.

Practical Steps for Encouraging Ownership

Model the Values You Want Them to Own
Children learn by watching their parents. They may not always listen to what we say, but they closely observe how we live. Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” As parents, we need to ensure that our lives reflect the values we desire for our children. If we want them to own biblical truth, we must first live it consistently ourselves.

Ask Questions to Encourage Discovery
Asking thoughtful questions can help your children discover and internalize biblical truths on their own. Jesus often used questions to lead His followers toward deeper understanding (Luke 10:25-37, Matthew 16:13-20). By asking questions, you encourage critical thinking and help your children connect their faith to real-life decisions, fostering personal ownership of biblical values.

Create a Culture of Conversation
Encourage questions and discussions about faith, values, and moral decisions. This cultivates an environment where children feel free to wrestle with doubts and make sense of their beliefs. We already looked at Deuteronomy 6:6-7: “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Through healthy conversations, children move from passive acceptance to active engagement with the truths they’ve learned.

Encourage Friendships with Those Who Share Your Values
The company children keep has a significant influence on their lives and decisions. Proverbs 13:20 says, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” Encouraging your children to develop friendships with others who share their biblical values can help reinforce those values. Being surrounded by peers who live out their faith will challenge and support them in their walk with Christ. Help them find communities—whether in church, youth groups, or at school—where they can form meaningful, godly friendships.

Pray for Transformation
Ultimately, the transformation from renting values to owning them is a work of the Holy Spirit. As parents, we must fervently pray that God will soften our children’s hearts and open their minds to fully embrace His truth. Ezekiel 36:26 speaks of God giving us new hearts: “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you.” This new heart is what makes our values their values, so pray for it in your kids!

Takeaway

The ultimate goal of Christian parenting is to see our children leave home not just adhering to the rules we set but embracing the values we’ve passed on. This journey from “renting” to “owning” values is a gradual but critical process. Through modeling, encouragement, conversation, friendships, and prayer, we can help our children take full ownership of their faith and values, ensuring that they will continue to walk in God’s ways long after they have left our homes. As they do, they will become not just reflections of us, but true followers of Christ, equipped to navigate the world with His wisdom and love.

Talking Points:
  • The ultimate goal of biblical parenting is value ownership, not just rule-following. Proverbs 22:6 calls parents to train children in the way they should go, but for that training to last, those truths must be deeply rooted in a child’s heart—not just enforced through rules.
  • God’s design for parenting is intentional, everyday discipleship. In Deuteronomy 6:6-7, Moses calls parents to weave God’s commands into ordinary moments—meals, walks, bedtime—so faith becomes part of the child’s identity, not just a Sunday lesson.
  • There’s a difference between “renting” and “owning” values. Rented values are borrowed for a season—kept as long as parents are watching—but owned values become personal convictions that shape decisions even in private. Luke 6:45 reminds us that what fills the heart will eventually flow into action.
  • Intentional parenting means living out the values you want to see in your kids, fostering an ongoing culture of honest, faith-filled conversation, surrounding your family with like-minded believers, and faithfully praying each day for your children to walk with Jesus.
Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. What’s one value your parents passed down to you that you still “own” today, and how did it stick? What are some values from your childhood home you want to avoid repeating?
  3. Read Deuteronomy 6:6-7. What are some practical ways you can weave faith conversations into everyday moments without it feeling forced? 
  4. On a scale from 1-10, how would you rate yourself on how well you’re modeling biblical values to your kids? How can you improve?
  5. How have you seen the influence—good or bad—of a child’s friendships shape the values they carry into adulthood? How will you help your kids to choose the right kind of friends?
  6. Read Ezekiel 36:26. How will you pray for your kids moving forward? How will you know as a parent if your child is only “renting” values rather than truly owning them?

See Also:

Click for Shownotes

Parenting is one of the most important roles in a person’s life, and it significantly shapes the development and well-being of children. Over the years, psychologists and researchers have identified four primary parenting styles, each characterized by different levels of warmth, control, and communication. Understanding these styles can help parents recognize the potential outcomes of their approaches and make more informed decisions about how they raise their children. See this article.

The four main parenting styles are:

  • Authoritarian Parenting

  • Authoritative Parenting

  • Permissive Parenting

  • Uninvolved Parenting

Each of these styles affects children differently, influencing their emotional, social, and cognitive development.

1. Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian parents are often seen as strict, controlling, and demanding. They set high expectations for their children, emphasizing obedience and discipline above all else. Communication tends to be one-sided, with little room for dialogue or flexibility. Rules are enforced with little explanation, and punishment is used as a means to maintain control.

Key Characteristics:

  • High demands and expectations

  • Low responsiveness to the child’s emotional needs

  • Emphasis on obedience and discipline

  • Limited communication and explanation of rules

Effects on Children:
Children raised by authoritarian parents often develop a strong sense of discipline and respect for authority but may also struggle with self-esteem and decision-making. They may become either overly submissive or rebellious, depending on their temperament. Social skills can be underdeveloped, as they may not feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings openly.

Biblical Response:
Authoritarian parenting emphasizes strict rules and discipline, often with little room for discussion. While discipline is important, Scripture also encourages understanding and wisdom in its application.

  • Ephesians 6:4

  • Colossians 3:21

2. Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative parenting is widely regarded as the most effective and balanced style. Parents who adopt this approach set clear expectations and rules for their children but are also nurturing, supportive, and responsive. They encourage open communication, explain the reasons behind rules, and allow for age-appropriate independence. Discipline is used to guide and teach, rather than to punish.

Key Characteristics:

  • High demands but balanced with high responsiveness

  • Open communication and explanation of rules

  • Encouragement of independence and decision-making

  • Use of positive discipline strategies

Effects on Children:
Children of authoritative parents tend to have higher self-esteem, better social skills, and greater emotional regulation. They are more likely to perform well academically, develop good problem-solving skills, and establish healthy relationships with others. This style fosters both respect for authority and the confidence to assert their own thoughts and feelings.

Biblical Response:
Authoritative parenting is characterized by a balance of discipline, love, and communication. This approach aligns closely with the biblical model of nurturing and guiding children while setting clear expectations.

  • Proverbs 22:6

  • Hebrews 12:11

  • Deuteronomy 6:6-7

3. Permissive Parenting

Permissive parents are lenient, often giving their children considerable freedom and few rules. While they are highly responsive and nurturing, they avoid setting limits or enforcing discipline. Permissive parents prioritize their children’s happiness and often allow them to make their own decisions, regardless of their maturity level.

Key Characteristics:

  • Low demands with high responsiveness

  • Few rules and minimal discipline

  • Emphasis on nurturing and indulgence

  • Children have significant freedom in decision-making

Effects on Children:
Children raised by permissive parents may struggle with self-control and responsibility, as they are not accustomed to structure or boundaries. While they may develop strong self-esteem due to the high levels of parental warmth, they may also have difficulties with authority and discipline later in life. They may be more prone to behavioral problems and struggle with achieving long-term goals due to a lack of discipline.

Biblical Response:
Permissive parenting focuses on nurturing and love but often lacks boundaries or discipline. While the Bible teaches the importance of love, it also warns that children need guidance and discipline to grow into responsible adults.

  • Proverbs 13:24

  • Proverbs 29:15

4. Uninvolved Parenting

Uninvolved parenting, also known as neglectful parenting, is characterized by a lack of both responsiveness and demands. Parents who adopt this style are often detached or indifferent, providing minimal emotional support or guidance. While uninvolved parents may meet basic physical needs, such as food and shelter, they are generally disengaged from their children’s lives.

Key Characteristics:

  • Low demands and low responsiveness

  • Minimal interaction and communication

  • Little emotional involvement or nurturing

  • Lack of structure, rules, or discipline

Effects on Children:
Children raised by uninvolved parents tend to struggle with self-esteem, academic achievement, and emotional regulation. They often feel neglected and unworthy of attention, which can lead to feelings of insecurity and difficulty forming relationships. These children may also face behavioral issues and exhibit a lack of self-discipline, as they grow up without clear guidance or support.

Biblical Response:
Uninvolved parenting is characterized by neglect or indifference, where parents fail to provide both guidance and emotional support. Scripture speaks strongly against neglecting children and emphasizes the responsibility of parents to nurture and guide their children.

  • 1 Timothy 5:8

  • Deuteronomy 6:1-3

  • Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Takeaway

Ultimately, the Bible calls parents to reflect God’s own character in their parenting. God is both our loving Father and wise Teacher. As parents, we are called to model this dual role—being both compassionate and authoritative, nurturing our children while guiding them toward righteousness. By seeking God’s wisdom and relying on His grace, we can raise our children in a way that honors Him and helps them grow into faithful followers of Christ.

Talking Points:
  • The way we parent has a lasting impact on our children’s emotional, social, and spiritual development. Every choice we make as a parent carries weight.
  • Strict rules without dialogue (authoritarian) or no boundaries at all (permissive) can harm children’s growth; the Bible calls us to guide, not simply demand or neglect. Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:21
  • Authoritative parenting demonstrates that combining clear expectations with love and communication produces children who are confident, responsible, and resilient. Hebrews 12:11
  • Being uninvolved as a parent does damage to children’s self-esteem and faith; consistent involvement and teaching (Deuteronomy 6:6-9) is critical for nurturing godly character.
Discussion:
  1. Which of the four parenting styles—authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, or uninvolved—do you think you lean toward, and why?
  2. What did you experience as a child growing up that has impacted you as a parent?
  3. Read Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21. How do you find the line between discipline and control? What’s a moment where you got it “just right” or “off track”? How do these verses challenge or encourage the way you discipline and guide your children?
  4. Read Proverbs 13:24. Have you ever struggled with giving too much freedom or avoiding conflict with your children? What happened, and how did you respond?
  5. Share a time when a parenting choice didn’t go as planned. What did you learn, and how would you approach it differently now?

See Also:

Coming soon!

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