Dads should affirm their kids because God the Father affirmed his Son, and because affirmation sets the stage for everything else a father does. If the perfect Son of God received words of love from his Father, our imperfect kids need it even more. You can affirm your kids by being intentional, authentic, and unique, and by using talk, time, and touch.
God the Father Affirmed His Son
In the Gospel of Matthew, God the Father speaks publicly about Jesus twice. Both times, he affirms him. The first was at Jesus’ baptism, before Jesus had done a single miracle.
Matthew 3:17 And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”
The Father said it again at the transfiguration (Matthew 17:5). Notice what God emphasized: identity (“my Son”), love (“whom I love”), and delight (“with him I am well pleased”). That’s a model for every dad.
Our Kids Need Affirmation
If Jesus received words of affirmation from his Father, how much more do our kids need it? Words have real power.
Proverbs 16:24 Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Every kid, even the most challenging ones, needs and deserves affirmation. Often the child who frustrates you most is the one who needs it most. Paul warns fathers not to exasperate their children (Ephesians 6:4), and constant criticism without encouragement does exactly that.
Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
The 3 B’s of Affirmation
- Be intentional. Affirmation doesn’t happen by accident. Look for chances to notice what your kids do well.
- Be authentic. Kids can tell when praise is fake. Be specific and sincere.
- Be unique. Every child is different. Affirm the specific traits and gifts God has given each one.
The 3 T’s of Praise
- Talk: Use your words to speak love and praise over your kids. Say “I love you” and “I’m proud of you” often.
- Time: Spend one-on-one time with each child. Time shows them they’re a priority.
- Touch: Show appropriate affection with hugs, a hand on the shoulder, or wrestling on the floor.
Jesus modeled this kind of love with children.
Mark 10:16 And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.
When your kids know you love and delight in them, they’re far more likely to receive your discipline and follow your example of putting God first. (See also Why Should We Give Kids Praise? and our Parenting Kids series.)
The Takeaway
God the Father affirmed his Son, and dads should affirm their kids too. Be intentional, authentic, and unique, and use talk, time, and touch to show your kids you love them and delight in who God made them to be.
