The goal of sexual purity isn’t just getting rid of guilt or making temptation disappear. It’s honoring God with your whole life, including your body. When you aim at the right target, understand where temptation comes from, and prepare for storms of different strengths, you’re ready for lasting change instead of quick fixes that don’t hold up.
Define the Target Clearly
Every man who has fought for purity knows that quick fixes rarely last. One reason is that we aim at the wrong target. Without a clear goal, victory is hard to measure and easy to lose. Here are four common goals men set:
“I want the guilt to go away.” This goal focuses on how we feel rather than on our behavior and motives. God does want to free us from guilt, but he wants real repentance, not just temporary relief.
2 Corinthians 7:10 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.
“I want God to remove the temptation.” God never promised to remove temptation. He promised to provide a way out when it comes (1 Corinthians 10:13). Waiting for temptation to vanish can lead to disappointment and even blaming God.
“I want to say no to temptation.” Saying no is essential, but it can’t be the only strategy. It needs to be part of a bigger commitment rooted in something greater than avoiding wrongdoing.
“I want to honor God.” This is the most effective goal. Instead of only trying to avoid sin, you actively seek to live in a way that pleases God.
Romans 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.
1 Corinthians 6:12-13 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
Your body was made for the Lord. When honoring him becomes the goal, purity becomes an act of worship instead of a list of rules.
Understand Where Temptation Comes From
To fight well, you need to know where temptation comes from. It never comes from God, and blaming him is spiritually dangerous.
James 1:13-15 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
Temptation comes from two directions. External temptation comes from the world around us and the schemes of Satan, who looks for opportunities to exploit our weaknesses. Internal temptation comes from our own sinful desires. Recognizing both helps you respond wisely instead of being caught off guard.
Prepare for Storms of Different Strengths
In the pursuit of purity, you’ll face storms of varying intensity. Ignoring the warning signs leaves you vulnerable. Roger Fankhauser describes these storms in escalating levels:
- Rain showers: mild temptations you encounter every day.
- Severe storms: significant temptations that require intentional resistance.
- The eye of the storm: periods of calm when you’re at risk of growing complacent.
- Hurricane warnings: seasons or circumstances, like stress, travel, loneliness, or conflict, that dramatically raise the risk.
Knowing these levels helps you stay alert and prepared. Calm seasons are the time to build your defenses, not to let your guard down.
Purity Is More Than Prohibitions
Purity isn’t only about what you avoid. It’s also about what you pursue. Fankhauser defines it this way: purity means making godly choices by avoiding inappropriate sexual activity, enjoying healthy expressions of masculinity, and enjoying relationships with the opposite sex that glorify God, respect yourself, and honor others, with your heart, mind, eyes, and actions.
God’s design isn’t merely restrictive. It points you toward relationships and intimacy that are deeply fulfilling emotionally and spiritually, not just physically. (For more, see How Did Jesus Handle Sexual Sin?) Next, we’ll look at how guilt and shame affect the fight for purity.
This lesson is part of the Stormproof series, based on Roger Fankhauser’s book Stormproof Men: Sexual Purity in a Sex-Saturated World.
The Takeaway
The goal of sexual purity is honoring God, not just escaping guilt or temptation. Temptation comes from the world, the enemy, and our own desires, never from God. Expect storms of different strengths, prepare during the calm, and pursue God’s good design, not just a list of prohibitions.
