When you tell your family you’re leaving Mormonism, focus on sharing your own reasons rather than proving them wrong. Explain that you want to follow the Jesus of the Bible, make room for their emotions as well as yours and answer questions with gentleness and respect. Leaving well means being honest about your convictions while doing everything you can to keep the relationship intact.
Know Why You’re Leaving
Before you talk to anyone, get clear on your reasons. The best reason to leave Mormonism isn’t frustration with church culture or a desire for more freedom; it’s to know and follow the biblical Jesus. That kind of decision can be costly. Jesus warned that following him might strain even our closest relationships:
Luke 14:26 If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.
Jesus wasn’t telling us to despise our families. He was using strong language to say that our love for him must come first, so much that every other love looks small by comparison. When your decision is rooted in following Jesus, you can stand firm even when it hurts.
Share Your Story, Not a Debate
For many LDS families, a child or spouse leaving the church feels like a deep loss, even a threat to their eternal family. Expect strong emotions like sadness, fear or anger. Choose a calm time, speak face to face if possible and keep it simple: share what you’ve discovered and why it matters to you.
Resist the urge to win an argument. You don’t have to convince them you’re right and they’re wrong in one conversation. Give them space to grieve and process, and acknowledge their feelings. Your goal is to be honest and loving, not to persuade.
Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
You can’t control how others respond, but you can control your tone and keep the relationship as peaceful as possible.
Be Ready for Questions
After the first conversation, more questions and challenges will likely come, from family, friends or church leaders. Prepare thoughtful answers, but pay attention to the attitude of the person asking. Some want to argue; others are genuinely curious.
1 Peter 3:15-16 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.
Answer with gentleness and respect. If God seems to be softening someone’s heart, invite them to explore the Bible with you. Keep loving your family, show up for important moments and pray for them. Over time, your life may speak louder than your words.
The Takeaway
Telling family you’re leaving Mormonism is hard, but you can do it well. Know why you’re leaving, share your story instead of starting a debate, make room for emotions and answer questions with gentleness and respect.
