Failure to Lead

In this series for men, we take a look at the lives of some of the most well-known men in the Bible...and learn from their mistakes.

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Failure to Lead: What Adam’s Mistake Teaches Men About Biblical Leadership

When we think of leadership failures, our minds might jump to modern headlines or political scandals. But the very first failure to lead happened at the beginning of human history—with a man named Adam. His passivity and silence during a moment of spiritual crisis didn’t just affect him—it set the tone for countless men who would follow in his footsteps.

In Genesis 3, we find one of the most sobering leadership moments in the Bible. Eve is being tempted by the serpent, and Adam—who was right there with her—says nothing. He watches the conversation unfold. He watches her take the fruit. And then he takes it from her and eats it too. This moment wasn’t just about disobedience—it was about leadership abdication. Adam failed to lead, and his silence has echoed through the ages.

God Calls Men to Lead in the Home and the Church

God’s design for leadership is both sacrificial and servant-hearted. In Ephesians 5, Paul paints a picture of male leadership in marriage that reflects Christ’s love for the church.

Ephesians 5:22-30 (NLT)
For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. […] Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.

This isn’t about domination—it’s about loving leadership. But when men refuse to lead, things fall apart. This pattern goes all the way back to the Garden.

Genesis 3:16 (NLT)
And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.

Relational tension and power struggles are one of the results of Adam’s failure to lead.

1. Adam Was Passive in a Crisis

Instead of protecting and guiding, Adam stood silently as the serpent deceived his wife. He didn’t lead. He didn’t step in. He just followed.

Genesis 3:1-7 (NLT)
[…] She took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too.

Passivity is poison to godly leadership. And when crisis hits, passivity becomes complicity.

2. Adam Hid From Responsibility

When things fell apart, Adam didn’t step forward—he ran and hid. But God came looking.

Genesis 3:8-10 (NLT)
Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.”

God is still asking men this question today. “Where are you?”

Psalm 139:7-12 (NLT)
I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence. […] Even in darkness I cannot hide from you.

Avoiding responsibility looks different now—we avoid church, ignore Scripture, stay silent in conflict, or sweep problems under the rug. But hiding never solves anything.

3. Adam Blamed Instead of Owning It

Rather than owning his sin, Adam blamed Eve—and indirectly blamed God.

Genesis 3:12 (NLT)
The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.”

Sound familiar? When we mess up, it’s easy to say, “It’s her fault… or the way I was raised… or even God’s fault.” But leadership begins with ownership.

4. Real Leadership Is Servant-Hearted and Teachable

Leadership isn’t about controlling others—it’s about listening, learning, and leading with wisdom.

Proverbs 15:22 (NLT)
Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.

Proverbs 15:31 (NLT)
If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise.

Real leaders seek out counsel. They value their spouse’s input. They learn from their mistakes instead of hiding or blaming.

Whether you’re leading a home, a small group, or just trying to live with integrity—Adam’s story reminds us what’s at stake when men stay silent. Let’s learn from his failure and choose a better path.

Talking Points:
  • God has placed the mantle of leadership on men in the home and the church. When men don’t lead, families and communities suffer. Ephesians 5:22-30, Genesis 3:16
  • Adam was passive. He stood by while Eve was tempted and said nothing. He failed to protect, guide, or intervene. Passivity is poison to godly leadership. Genesis 3:1-7
  • Adam hid when he sinned. Leadership doesn’t mean perfection, but it does require responsibility. When we mess up, we must confess, not conceal. Genesis 3:8-10
  • Instead of owning his actions, Adam blamed Eve—and even hinted that God was at fault. Blame shifting is a leadership killer. Genesis 3:12
  • Men are called to be servant leaders. That includes listening to counsel, seeking wisdom, and accepting constructive criticism. Proverbs 15:22, Proverbs 15:31
  • The leadership tension we often feel in marriage is a direct result of the fall. God’s design includes mutual respect and love, not domination or rebellion. Genesis 3:16

Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. Why do you think Adam stayed silent during the serpent’s conversation with Eve? What would a better response have looked like?
  3. In what areas of life are you most tempted to be passive instead of stepping up as a leader?
  4. What does “hiding” from God look like for you personally? How can you respond differently when you mess up?
  5. Why is it so tempting to shift the blame when we’re called out? What does true accountability look like in a leader?
  6. How do Proverbs 15:22 and 15:31 challenge your view of leadership? Who are your trusted advisers?
  7. What would it look like for you to lead in your home with love, humility, and courage?

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Failure to Lead – Saul

When we think of bad leadership in the Bible, Saul is one of the first names that comes to mind. But his story is more complex than just failure—he started well but strayed over time. God changed his heart (1 Samuel 10:9), and Saul even showed great humility and restraint early on (1 Samuel 10:27, 11:13). But the cracks in his leadership revealed themselves when he let emotion override wisdom, disrespected authority, and allowed insecurity to shape his decisions.

In this episode, we unpack three key leadership failures from Saul’s life that serve as a cautionary tale for anyone in a position of influence—whether you’re leading a business, a family, or a church. Saul’s story reminds us that good leaders manage their emotions, stay under God’s authority, and build others up rather than tearing them down.

Let’s take a deeper look at three defining leadership flaws in Saul’s life—and how we can avoid making the same mistakes.

1. Emotion-Driven Decisions Can Wreck Your Leadership

In 1 Samuel 14:24-30, Saul made a rash vow out of anger and pride, forbidding his soldiers from eating until evening. His impulsive decision weakened his army and exposed his poor judgment. Leaders must recognize the influence of emotions and slow down before making critical decisions. Emotional reactions often lead to long-term consequences.

2. Great Leaders Model Submission to Authority

In both 1 Samuel 13 and 15, Saul acted as if the rules didn’t apply to him. He offered sacrifices without waiting for Samuel (1 Samuel 13:7-14) and partially obeyed God’s command by sparing King Agag and the best livestock (1 Samuel 15:1-21). His disobedience cost him the throne. True leadership means recognizing you’re under authority—and modeling that for those who follow you.

3. Insecurity and Jealousy Destroy Healthy Leadership

Instead of celebrating David’s victory and mentoring him, Saul let jealousy take root (1 Samuel 18:6-8). Rather than empowering the next generation, he feared being overshadowed. Great leaders know how to recognize and nurture talent in others—even when it means letting someone else shine brighter.

Saul’s story isn’t just about failure. It’s a powerful reminder to lead with humility, emotional wisdom, and a heart submitted to God.

Talking Points:
  • Saul let emotion dictate his decisions, resulting in foolish and harmful leadership. Great leaders slow down and process before reacting. 1 Samuel 14:24-30
  • Leaders must remember they are under God’s authority. Saul’s disobedience showed a heart that believed he was above the rules. 1 Samuel 13:7-14, 1 Samuel 15:1-21
  • Partial obedience is still disobedience. Saul justified his actions instead of repenting, breaking his relationship with God. 1 Samuel 15:13-21
  • Insecurity leads to jealousy and control. Saul feared David’s success instead of empowering him to thrive. 1 Samuel 18:6-8
  • Good leaders raise up others. They recognize strengths and help people grow in their gifts for the good of God’s kingdom.

Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. Have you ever made a rash decision based on your emotions? What happened, and what did you learn from it?
  3. Why is it hard to stay submitted to authority, especially when you’re in a leadership position?
  4. How can you guard your heart from pride and partial obedience like Saul showed?
  5. What do you notice about Saul’s relationship with God based on how he referred to “the Lord your God”?
  6. Do you struggle with jealousy when others succeed? How can you become the kind of leader who celebrates and builds others up?
  7. What steps can you take this week to recognize and encourage someone else’s gifting?

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Leadership Lessons from the Failures of King David

King David is often remembered for his triumph over Goliath and his deep love for God, but his story also serves as a powerful warning about the dangers of compromised leadership. As part of an ongoing series on “The Failure to Lead,” this episode focuses not on David’s most infamous failure—his sin with Bathsheba—but on a broader pattern of decisions that ultimately led to devastating consequences.

A Promising Start Marred by Tragedy

David’s leadership journey began with promise and courage. He boldly faced Goliath and resisted the urge to seize the throne from Saul prematurely, trusting instead in God’s timing. However, over time, his integrity began to erode. Despite moments where he could have made righteous choices, David continued down a destructive path that culminated in murder and betrayal.

When Success Breeds Entitlement

David’s downfall began not with an act, but with an attitude.

2 Samuel 11:1
“In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king’s men and the whole Israelite army. … But David remained in Jerusalem.”

This detail is crucial. Spring was the traditional time for kings to lead their armies into battle. David broke with this norm, staying behind while his men fought. This wasn’t a time of peace—there was active conflict. His choice signaled a sense of entitlement and detachment from duty. Leaders today face different “battles,” but the principle remains: when individuals neglect their responsibilities, temptation often finds them idle.

A Snowball of Bad Decisions

2 Samuel 11:2-4
“From the roof he saw a woman bathing. … David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her.”

David not only succumbed to lust, but he also involved others in his sin. Servants were tasked with fetching Bathsheba—likely aware of what was happening but powerless to question the king. This wasn’t just adultery; it was betrayal. Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, was one of David’s loyal soldiers. David’s actions shattered bonds of brotherhood and integrity.

Failing to Read the Room

After the Bathsheba scandal, David continued to demonstrate a troubling lack of discernment—particularly within his own family. His failure to recognize and respond to warning signs led to further tragedy.

2 Samuel 13:6-7
“Amnon asked, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and cook…’ So David agreed and sent Tamar to Amnon’s house.”

David did not question Amnon’s odd request, and as a result, Tamar was left vulnerable. After Amnon assaulted her, David grew angry but took no action.

2 Samuel 13:21-22
“When King David heard what had happened, he was very angry. … But he did not punish his son Amnon.”

Ancient texts like the Dead Sea Scrolls and the Greek versions suggest David’s inaction stemmed from favoritism—Amnon was his firstborn. But leadership isn’t about protecting favorites. It’s about justice, accountability, and courage.

The Cost of Avoiding Hard Conversations

David’s refusal to confront sin had tragic ripple effects. Two years after Tamar’s assault, Absalom orchestrated a calculated revenge.

2 Samuel 13:23-29
Absalom invited the king’s sons to a feast and pressed David to send Amnon. Despite initial hesitation, David relented. At the feast, Absalom had Amnon killed.

David’s leadership faltered again. He failed to sense the undercurrent of tension and did not investigate further. Avoiding difficult conversations—especially ones involving family or close allies—may seem easier in the short term but can be disastrous long-term.

A Modern Warning for Today’s Leaders

The life of David reminds leaders—whether in ministry, business, or the home—that failures rarely happen all at once. They begin with compromise, escalate through passivity, and culminate in destruction when left unaddressed.

Modern leaders must stay engaged in the battles they’re called to fight. That might mean maintaining boundaries, seeking accountability, or confronting hard truths—even when it’s uncomfortable.

2 Samuel 11:1
“But David remained in Jerusalem.”

That single choice set into motion a chain of events that changed David’s life and legacy. It’s a haunting reminder: leaders must never forget why they’re called, and whom they serve.

Talking Points:
  • David allowed his success to lead to entitlement and spiritual drift. Instead of leading in battle, he remained in comfort—and that opened the door to moral failure. 2 Samuel 11:1-5
  • When leaders begin to think they’re above the rules, small compromises can spiral into devastating sin. David’s actions involved others and betrayed loyal companions. 2 Samuel 11:6-17
  • Great leaders must be discerning. David ignored clear warning signs when Amnon schemed and Absalom plotted. Leadership requires reading the room and anticipating conflict. 2 Samuel 13:6-7
  • Ignoring sin for political or personal reasons only makes it worse. David failed to confront sin in his own family, and it led to tragic consequences. 2 Samuel 13:21-29

Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. Why do you think David let his guard down after so many years of faithful leadership?
  3. What safeguards can leaders put in place to avoid drifting into comfort and entitlement?
  4. Can you think of a time when you “failed to read the room” in a leadership moment? What was the result?
  5. Why do some leaders avoid confronting sin or dysfunction, especially in close relationships?
  6. What can we learn from David’s failures about taking responsibility for our actions?
  7. Is there an area in your life or leadership where you’ve been passive instead of proactive? What step can you take to lead better?

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