Yes, there is a good side to grief. Grief is the emotional pain that comes from any kind of loss, and it was never part of God’s original design. But God can use it for good. Sorrow over someone’s sin against us can draw us into deeper community, sorrow over our own sin can lead to repentance, and sorrow over losing a loved one can make us more compassionate and point us to the hope of heaven.
Grief Wasn’t Part of God’s Original Design
Everyone experiences grief eventually. It’s not a sin to be sad, and even Jesus wept when his friend Lazarus died (John 11:35). If you’re grieving right now, there’s no need to rush it or hide it. Phrases like “Time heals all wounds” or “Stay strong” usually aren’t helpful. You can read more in What NOT to Say to the Grieving.
Grief wasn’t part of Eden, and it won’t be part of heaven. It entered the world as a result of sin, and loss became part of the human experience. But God promises that grief won’t last forever.
Revelation 21:4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.
Until that day, grief can either push us away from God or draw us closer to him. Let’s look at three kinds of grief and how God can use each one.
When Someone Sins Against You
Some grief comes from being deeply hurt by someone else, through betrayal, abuse, or false accusations. This kind of sorrow often moves from anger to deep sadness to a desire to pull away. Isolation is a warning sign. When we withdraw from people and from God, we become more vulnerable to bitterness.
But God can use this pain to draw us into deeper relationships. Scripture calls us to “mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15), which means we also need to let others mourn with us. Asaph described how bitterness nearly overtook him, until he remembered God’s presence.
Psalm 73:21-23 When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
Even in our bitterness, God doesn’t let go of us. When you feel like isolating, reach out to trusted friends and keep bringing your hurt to God.
When Grief Comes From Your Own Sin
Another kind of grief comes from our own failures. After Peter denied Jesus three times, he “went outside and wept bitterly” (Matthew 26:75). That kind of sorrow can feel crushing, but it can also be the beginning of real change. Paul explained that there are two very different kinds of sorrow.
2 Corinthians 7:10 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.
Worldly sorrow is regret without repentance. It leaves us stuck in shame or self-pity. Godly sorrow leads us back to God, and Peter experienced that when Jesus restored him after the resurrection. Grief over our sin can purify what we value and make us deeper, wiser people.
When We Lose Someone We Love
The deepest grief often comes when someone we love dies. Death was never part of God’s plan, and when Jesus stood near Lazarus’s tomb, he was “deeply moved in spirit and troubled” (John 11:33). Jesus knows this pain firsthand. The Bible promises that “the Lord is close to the brokenhearted” (Psalm 34:18), and our own loss can make us more compassionate toward others who are hurting (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).
Most of all, grief points us to our ultimate hope.
1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.
Christians still grieve, but we grieve with hope. Because Jesus rose from the dead, death doesn’t have the final word for those who belong to him. That hope only comes through faith in Jesus, who gives us new, resilient hearts. If you’d like to learn more about putting your faith in Jesus, check out How can I become a Christian?
The Takeaway
Is there a good side to grief? Yes. Grief is painful and was never part of God’s original design, but God can use it to deepen our relationships, lead us to repentance, make us more compassionate, and point us to the hope of eternal life in Jesus.
