Raising Daughters

Raising daughters takes wisdom, grace, and intentionality. This series helps dads step into their unique role with clarity and purpose—for home and for the lives of their daughters.

Podcasts + Discipleship: Click to Learn How to Use PursueGOD

PursueGOD is a new kind of discipleship curriculum for an increasingly complicated world. We use podcasts on a variety of topics to offer no-nonsense answers to everyday questions. Then we organize these podcasts into series so you can use them to make disciples at church, home, or in the world. Here’s how it works:

  1. Pick a series from our homepage. There's plenty to choose from!
  2. Each series contains multiple lessons. Click on the numbered tabs to open each lesson.
  3. Start by listening to the podcast on your own, before you meet as a group. Take notes as needed, and listen again if it helps. Consider starting a discipleship journal to track what you're learning.
  4. Meet as a group to talk through what you learned from the podcast. Each lesson includes shownotes, talking points, and discussion questions. Click on the tab to explore additional topics.
  5. Listen to the podcast above for more helpful tips or check out one of our many training series.

Click for Shownotes

Raising Daughters: A Father’s Role in Shaping Her Identity and Faith

Being a father to a daughter is both a gift and a calling. In a culture that often blurs gender roles and redefines family dynamics, dads have the opportunity—and responsibility—to model biblical love, identity, and leadership. This post kicks off a two-part series, starting with daughters and followed by a focus on sons. If you’re a dad of girls, whether young or grown, these principles will help you reflect God’s heart and guide your daughter with wisdom.

1. Love Her Mom Well

One of the most important ways a father can influence his daughter is through the way he loves her mother. Whether you’re married to her mom or co-parenting after divorce, your behavior sets a powerful tone in her life.

The Bible calls men to love their wives sacrificially, the way Christ loves the Church:

Ephesians 5:25-29 (NLT)
“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her… Husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.”

This kind of love is not based on feelings—it’s based on commitment, humility, and servant leadership. When your daughter sees you lay down your preferences to honor and serve her mom, she internalizes what to expect from a future husband. She learns to value healthy love and recognize unhealthy behavior.

Even if you’re a single dad, you can still live out this principle. Show respect for your daughter’s mother. Avoid speaking negatively about her, especially in front of your daughter. Be honest when appropriate, but always take the high road. God can redeem even the most broken family dynamics when you commit to modeling grace and truth.

1 Peter 3:7 (NLT) adds another layer:
“In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding… She is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life.”

Treating your wife—or your daughter’s mom—with honor is one of the greatest gifts you can give your daughter.

2. Speak Her Love Language

Every child is wired to receive love differently, and girls especially need consistent, heartfelt affirmation from their fathers. Author Gary Chapman outlines five “love languages” that help decode how people give and receive love: words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, gifts, and physical touch.

Your daughter likely leans into one or two of these. Your job is to learn what speaks most clearly to her heart and make it a regular part of your relationship.

  • Words of Affirmation – Tell her what you love about who she is, not just what she does. Be mindful of criticism—it cuts deeper in daughters who thrive on verbal encouragement.

  • Quality Time – Let her choose the activity. The goal is not what you do together, but that you’re fully present.

  • Acts of Service – Sometimes love looks like helping with a science project or fixing something she values.

  • Gifts – Thoughtful, not flashy. It’s about meaning, not money.

  • Physical Touch – Hugs, high-fives, or sitting close on the couch. Appropriate affection from you can affirm her value and reduce the likelihood that she’ll seek it in the wrong places.

Proverbs 16:16 (NLT) says, “How much better to get wisdom than gold, and good judgment than silver.” Wisdom in parenting means understanding your daughter’s emotional needs and responding intentionally.

3. Stay in Your Lane

As a father, you have a critical role—but not a complete one. You’re not called to be everything to your daughter. There are certain conversations better handled by your wife or a trusted, godly woman.

Titus 2:4-5 (NLT) says,
“These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure…”

Topics like puberty, sexual purity, and physical development are often more comfortably and effectively addressed by a woman. This doesn’t mean you avoid important subjects altogether—it means you walk with humility and invite others to speak into her life where needed. If you’re a single dad, lean into the church community. Find a trusted woman your daughter can talk to and feel safe with.

Additionally, you must remember that your daughter’s ultimate identity comes from God, not you. You were never meant to meet all her emotional or spiritual needs.

Genesis 1:27 (NLT) reminds us:
“So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”

Fathers are called to guide, protect, and bless—but only God can fill her soul. Your job is to point her to Him.

Final Thoughts: A Gentle and Quiet Spirit

In a world obsessed with external beauty, dads have the opportunity to affirm the kind of beauty God values most.

1 Peter 3:3-4 (NLT) says,
“Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty… You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.”

You can shape how your daughter views herself by the way you treat her and talk to her. Speak life. Model grace. Point her to the God who made her, loves her, and has a plan for her life.

Being a dad to a daughter may feel overwhelming, but God will equip you if you seek Him daily. Start by loving your wife (or co-parent) well, knowing your daughter’s heart, and staying faithful in your lane. God will use your imperfect efforts to do something eternal in her life.

Talking Points:
  • One of the most important ways a father can love his daughter is by loving her mother well. This provides a living example of a godly marriage. Ephesians 5:25-29, 1 Peter 3:7
  • A wise father studies his daughter’s love language and chooses to show her love in ways she can deeply receive. Proverbs 16:16
  • Appropriate physical affection from a father is crucial in helping a daughter develop a healthy sense of worth and identity.
  • Dads must recognize there are conversations better left to their wives or to trusted godly women in their daughter’s life. Titus 2:4-7
  • Fathers are not called to meet every need of their daughters—that’s God’s role. Dads should be faithful in their lane, pointing their daughters to their heavenly Father. Genesis 1:27

Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. How have you seen the relationship between a father and mother affect a daughter’s development?
  3. What is your daughter’s primary love language? How are you doing at expressing love in that way?
  4. Why is it sometimes hard for dads to “stay in their lane” when it comes to certain topics with their daughters?
  5. What are some ways a single dad can still model godly masculinity and grace to his daughter?
  6. How can you help your daughter understand her worth comes from God, not the approval of others or outward beauty?
  7. What’s one thing you could start doing differently this week in your relationship with your daughter?

Click for Shownotes

Fathers and Daughters: Fighting the Lies of the Enemy

In today’s culture, our daughters face countless lies about identity, beauty, purpose, and purity. As fathers, we play a vital role in shielding them from these attacks and pointing them toward God’s truth. This episode is a call to action for dads who want to raise daughters grounded in biblical wisdom. We’ll look at four common cultural lies and explore what the Bible says instead.

Lie #1: Gender Doesn’t Matter

Truth: Men and women are both created in the image of God—and their differences are part of His beautiful design.

Our culture is increasingly blurring the distinctions between male and female, but Genesis 1 shows us something better. God created humanity “male and female,” and He called it “very good.” (Genesis 1:27,31)

Genesis 1:27 (NLT) – “So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”
Genesis 1:31 (NLT) – “Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good!”

As fathers, we should affirm and celebrate the unique design of our daughters. Teach them that their femininity is not a limitation but a God-given strength. When we embrace the beauty of gender differences, we reflect God’s plan for flourishing families and communities.

Lie #2: Outward Beauty Is What Matters Most

Truth: Real beauty grows from within and never fades.

Today’s young women are bombarded with unrealistic beauty standards. Social media filters, influencer culture, and cosmetic trends send the message that their worth is tied to appearance. But the Bible tells us something very different.

Proverbs 31:30-31 (NLT) – “Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.”
1 Peter 3:3-4 (NLT) – “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.”

Dads, it’s great to tell your daughter she’s beautiful—but don’t stop there. Compliment her kindness, her compassion, her integrity. Encourage her spiritual growth and help her see that true beauty increases as she draws closer to Christ.

Lie #3: A Woman’s Role Is Either Limited or Guilt-Ridden

Truth: God calls women to a wide range of roles—including motherhood and work—and each one is valuable.

The culture may downplay stay-at-home moms, while some churches may inadvertently shame women who work outside the home. Both extremes are unbiblical. Proverbs 31 gives us a picture of a strong, capable woman who manages a household and engages in meaningful work.

Proverbs 31:10-31 describes a “wife of noble character” who runs a business, cares for her family, and blesses her community.

Our daughters need to know that both homemaking and career aspirations can honor God when pursued with the right heart. It’s not about one-size-fits-all roles—it’s about walking in God’s purpose with courage and faith.

Lie #4: Sexual Freedom Equals Real Freedom

Truth: God’s boundaries for sexuality lead to freedom, not bondage.

Culture promotes the idea that casual sex and provocative behavior are empowering. But Scripture says otherwise. Song of Songs warns us not to awaken love before the proper time.

Song of Songs 8:4 (NLT) – “Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right.”

God’s design for sex is good and powerful, but it must be handled with care. When we step outside His boundaries, we invite emotional pain, broken trust, and lasting regret. Fathers should affirm God’s sexual ethic with gentleness and clarity—pointing their daughters to a better, more fulfilling path.

You don’t have to get into the details of the “sex talk” if that’s not your role, but you can certainly reinforce God’s purpose for purity. Remind your daughter that she is valuable, worthy of respect, and not defined by cultural norms.

Proverbs 30:20 (NLT) – “An adulterous woman consumes a man, then wipes her mouth and says, ‘What’s wrong with that?’”

Let’s teach our daughters that purity is not about shame—it’s about walking in freedom and grace.

Final Word to Fathers: Be Her Protector and Truth-Teller

We’re called to more than just physical protection. We are the spiritual gatekeepers for our daughters—guarding their hearts and minds from the lies of the enemy. That means paying attention to what influences them, having regular conversations about faith and identity, and being the voice that consistently speaks truth and love.

She needs to know her worth from you before the world tries to define it for her.

Talking Points:
  • God created male and female, and those differences are part of what made His creation “very good.” Genesis 1:27,31
  • Outward beauty fades, but inner beauty grows as our daughters grow in Christ. Proverbs 31:30-31, 1 Peter 3:3-6
  • A woman’s worth isn’t defined by her career choice. The Proverbs 31 woman was both a hard worker and a caregiver. Proverbs 31:10-31
  • Cultural messages about sexuality lead to bondage, not freedom. God’s boundaries are protective, not restrictive. Song of Songs 8:4
  • As fathers, we’re called to actively protect our daughters from the lies of the enemy by speaking truth over their lives.

Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. How does your family talk about the differences between men and women? Are those conversations rooted in Scripture?
  3. In what ways have you seen culture distort what it means to be a woman? How can we offer biblical clarity?
  4. What kinds of beauty do you compliment in your daughter (or other young women in your life)?
  5. What messages about motherhood or work do you think your daughter is picking up from you or from church?
  6. How can dads play a role in affirming purity without shame?
  7. What specific steps can you take to better protect your daughter from the lies of the enemy?

Coming soon!

Coming soon!