Survival Guide for Parenting

Learn three basic principles for parenting kids so you can do more than survive....you can thrive during the parenting years!

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Podcasts + Discipleship: Click to Learn How to Use PursueGOD

PursueGOD is a new kind of discipleship curriculum for an increasingly complicated world. We use podcasts on a variety of topics to offer no-nonsense answers to everyday questions. Then we organize these podcasts into series so you can use them to make disciples at church, home, or in the world. Here’s how it works:

  1. Pick a series from our homepage. There's plenty to choose from!
  2. Each series contains multiple lessons. Click on the numbered tabs to open each lesson.
  3. Start by listening to the podcast on your own, before you meet as a group. Take notes as needed, and listen again if it helps. Consider starting a discipleship journal to track what you're learning.
  4. Meet as a group to talk through what you learned from the podcast. Each lesson includes shownotes, talking points, and discussion questions. Click on the # tab to explore additional topics.
  5. Listen to the podcast above for more helpful tips or check out one of our many training series.

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Parenting Principle #1: Put God First

Posted: March 13, 2023

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The foundation of successful parenting is to put God first in your life and in your family’s life. This simple principle is the key to unlocking a happy and harmonious home.

The command to obey applies to everyone, parents and kids alike. Parents must obey God and set a good example for their children to follow. Children must learn to obey their parents, as this is a sign of respect and a reflection of their obedience to God. This is highlighted in the fifth commandment, which serves as a bridge between the “love God” and “love people” commandments of the Ten Commandments.

To truly embrace wholehearted obedience, it’s essential to incorporate spiritual disciplines into your daily routine. These include things like prayer and Bible reading. By making these practices a priority, you are showing your children the importance of having a relationship with God and instilling in them the value of spiritual growth.

Practicing spiritual disciplines as a family unit is a great way to bond and create a positive atmosphere in your home. Regular family devotionals, where you read and discuss Bible passages together, can be a fun and meaningful way to connect with each other and with God.

In addition to incorporating spiritual disciplines, it’s also important to model good behavior for your children. As parents, we are our children’s first and most influential teachers. Our words and actions have a powerful impact on our children’s development and worldview.

One way to model good behavior is by showing respect for others. This includes our spouses, our children, and those outside of our family unit. By treating others with kindness and consideration, we demonstrate to our children the importance of empathy and compassion.

Another way to model good behavior is by being honest and transparent. When we make mistakes, it’s important to admit them and apologize. This teaches our children the value of accountability and shows them that it’s okay to make mistakes as long as we take responsibility for them.

And, when we live God-centered lives, it will change our whole perspective on life and our priorities. How we spend our money and where we spend our time will be influenced by God’s plan, not our own.

Talking Points:
  • Parenting is like everything else in life: if you put God first, the rest of it falls into place. That’s why our first Parenting Principle is: put God first. Deuteronomy 5:7-21,33, Matthew 6:33
  • The command to obey applies to both parents and kids: parents obey God and kids obey parents. The fifth commandment (honor your parents) serves as a bridge between the “love God” and “love people” commandments. Deuteronomy 6:1-3, Ephesians 6:1-3
  • Wholehearted obedience should impact every part of our lives – both personally and as a family unit. Learn to practice spiritual disciplines like prayer, Bible reading, and family time. Deuteronomy 6:4-7
Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  3. Did you grow up in a home with spiritual values? How have those values shaped you as a parent?
  4. How would you describe the current spiritual climate in your home?
  5. Do you currently make a habit of reading and praying on your own? How can your spiritual habits affect the rest of the family?
  6. Read Deuteronomy 6:1-3. According to this passage, what is a parent’s responsibility? Why does obedience lead to a blessed life?
  7. Read Ephesians 6:1-3. Why do you think Paul emphasizes the importance of obeying parents? How does learning to obey parents help kids to obey God as adults?
  8. Read Deuteronomy 6:4-7. Evaluate your family priorities right now. What are some practical things you can do, as a family, to pursue God together?
  9. Check out pursuegodkids.org and pursuegod.org How can utilizing topics from these sites help to facilitate productive Family Talk time?
  10. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?

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Parenting Principle #2: Discipline With Love

Posted: March 20, 2023

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As parents, we all want the best for our children. We want them to grow up to be responsible, respectful, and successful individuals. However, raising well-behaved children requires effort, patience, and most importantly, discipline. Discipline is the foundation of good parenting and is crucial in shaping our children’s character and behavior.

Contrary to popular belief, discipline is not synonymous with punishment or physical force. Discipline is about teaching our children the difference between right and wrong and guiding them towards making good choices. In fact, discipline should be an act of love, not anger or frustration. As the Bible says in Proverbs 13:24, “Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.”

Teaching Right from Wrong

The primary goal of discipline is to teach our children right from wrong. As parents, it’s our responsibility to teach them the values and principles that will guide them throughout their lives. The Bible emphasizes this in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” This means that if we instill the right values in our children from a young age, they are more likely to continue practicing them in their adult lives.

The Bible reinforces the importance of consistency in discipline in 2 Timothy 3:16-17, which states that “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.” This means that we should use the Bible as our guide for teaching and correcting our children and that we should be consistent in our efforts to do so.

The 3 C’s of Loving Discipline

Loving discipline requires three key elements: clarity, consistency, and corrective action. We must establish clear rules and expectations for our children, be consistent in enforcing these rules, and correct them when they make mistakes.

Discipline is an essential aspect of parenting that should be carried out with love and care. It’s our responsibility as parents to teach our children right from wrong, and discipline is the most effective tool we have to do so. As we follow the principles outlined in the Bible and practice the 3 C’s of loving discipline, we can raise children who are responsible, respectful, and successful individuals.

Talking Points:
  • There’s an ancient parenting paradox: those who love their children care enough to discipline them. Proverbs 13:24
  • Contrary to popular opinion, there is such a thing as right and wrong. It’s the parent’s job to teach this in the home. Proverbs 22:6
  • Loving discipline turns your child’s heart toward God. First they learn to honor you; later they’ll learn to honor God. Hebrews 12:11
  • The 3 C’s of loving discipline:
    • Clear: establish clear rules and expectations and the consequences for each.
    • Consistent: follow through every time a rule is broken.
    • Corrective: consequences should deter them from making the same mistake again.
Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. The concept of “gentle parenting” is gaining popularity today. Do you think this is a biblical approach to discipline? Explain your answer.
  3. Read Proverbs 13:24. How have you seen discipline as an effective tool with your kids up to now?
  4. Read Proverbs 22:6,15. What are some of the foolish things you see in your kids right now? How can discipline help to correct them?
  5. Make a list of current rules and consequences in your home. Which rules need to be clarified or adjusted? What rules should be added?
  6. What consequences are most effective with each of your kids right now?

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Parenting Principle #3: Affirm Your Kids

Posted: April 10, 2023

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In the Gospel of Matthew, we see God the Father publicly affirming his Son on two significant occasions. In Matthew 3:17, at Jesus’ baptism, God declares, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.” Again, in Matthew 17:5, during the Transfiguration, he emphasizes his approval, saying, “This is my beloved Son; listen to him.” These moments highlight the vital role of affirmation, even for the perfect Son of God.

If Jesus, the perfect model of love and obedience, received words of encouragement from his Father, how much more do our imperfect children need affirmation from us? Every child, regardless of their behavior, needs to hear words of love and support. Scriptures like Ephesians 6:4 and Proverbs 16:24 remind us of our responsibility as parents to nurture and uplift our kids.

To provide loving affirmation, keep in mind the three B’s: Be Intentional, Be Authentic, and Be Unique. This means consciously taking the time to express genuine appreciation in ways that resonate with each child.

Additionally, utilize the three T’s of loving affirmation: Talk, Time, and Touch. Engaging in meaningful conversations, dedicating quality time, and offering physical affection can significantly impact a child’s sense of worth. Understanding your child’s love language is crucial as you implement these strategies, ensuring that your affirmation resonates deeply with them.

In a world where challenges abound, let’s remember that our words and actions can build confidence and resilience in our children, nurturing them just as God nurtured his Son.

Talking Points:
  • God the Father spoke publicly about the Son twice in the gospel of Matthew. Both times it was to affirm him. Matthew 3:17, Matthew 17:5
  • If the perfect Son of God received words of affirmation from his Father, how much more do our imperfect kids need affirmation from their parents? Every kid – even the most challenging ones – need and deserve affirmation. Ephesians 6:4, Proverbs 16:24, Ephesians 4:32
  • Remember the 3 B’s of loving affirmation: Be intentional. Be authentic. Be unique.
  • Use the 3 T’s of loving affirmation: Talk, Time, and Touch. It’s helpful to understand your child’s love language as you apply these strategies.
Discussion:
  1. Read the talking points above as a group, including scripture references. What are your initial thoughts about these points or about the podcast lesson (see audio above)?
  2. Describe the “love” climate in your home growing up (affectionate/affirming or cold/distant?) How have those family dynamics affected the way you express love to your kids?
  3. Read Matthew 3:17 and Matthew 17:5. What stands out to you about what God said? Why was it important for him to speak those words?
  4. Read Proverbs 16:24. Share a personal experience you’ve had with the power of positive words. How have you seen encouraging words impact your kids in the past?
  5. Read Ephesians 4:32. Identify the behaviors in each of your kids that frustrate you. How do you need to be more tender-hearted toward your kids in those areas?
  6. Review the 3 B’s. What does it look like for you to be intentional with affirmation moving forward? Identify three unique traits for each of your kids that you will work to affirm more.
  7. What would quality time look like with each of your kids? What will that time communicate to them?
  8. Why is affection an important part of expressing love? How do you need to improve in this area and what kind of affection do each of your kids need?
  9. Are you familiar with the 5 love languages? What would you guess is your kid’s language? How can knowing their language help you to love them more?

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