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This topic is adapted from the PursueGOD Couples YouTube channel. See the Marriage Basics and the Marriage Basics for Pre-Marital series.

We didn’t invent the concept of marriage – it was God’s idea. His purpose and design for marriage is found in the Bible. If you want your marriage to be healthy and strong, follow the blueprints God provided.

[Related: Contract vs. Covenant Marriage]

Marriage Is About Two Becoming One

When you choose to get married, you need to understand that you are forging a bond that’s never meant to be broken. In God’s eyes, you become one entity. It’s no longer about two separate individuals.

Genesis 2:24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

Marriage Means You Leave Your Families to Make Your Own

Getting married means you start a new family with your own traditions and values. Even though each of your families had great influence in your lives, it’s time to leave and create your own family that both of you can get excited about.

The Vows You Take Are Promises

On your wedding day, the main event culminates with the repeating of your vows to one another. Your vows aren’t just statements you repeat to seal the deal. They are promises that you are pledging to keep until death. If you don’t feel ready to fulfill those promises, don’t get married until you are.

Matthew 19:4-6  “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’ ” And he said, “ ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

[Related: Should You Have Sex Before Marriage?]

Divorce Should Never Be an Option

God’s design for marriage is that it’s an unbreakable bond. Vows aren’t written with an “opt-out” clause. Don’t give up on your promises to one another. Be committed to making it work.

Malachi 2:16 “For I hate divorce!” says the lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”

[Related: Is It Ever Okay for a Christian to Get a Divorce?]

Discussion Questions:

  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. What’s the significance of two people becoming one in marriage? What do you think that means practically?
  4. What happens when one or both are selfish in the marriage?
  5. Briefly describe your family of origin. What did your family teach you about marriage?
  6. Reflect on some traditional vows you hear at weddings. What does each vow mean? Do you feel ready to take those vows? Explain.
  7. What do you think about divorce? How have you seen it cause damage among couples and families?
  8. Make sure to take the Couple Survey before your next meeting.
  9. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

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