Is It OK for Christians to Live Together Before They Get Married?
Cohabitation has become the new normal in today’s culture. Many couples choose to move in together before marriage for financial reasons, emotional closeness, or just to “test compatibility.” But what does the Bible actually say about it? Is it ever okay for Christians to live together before they tie the knot?
This conversation isn’t just about shared rent or shared groceries—it’s about how we honor God with our bodies, relationships, and choices. At the heart of the issue is the biblical view of sex, commitment, and holiness.
The Bible’s Design for Sex and Marriage
From Genesis to Revelation, Scripture consistently presents sex as a gift designed to be enjoyed within the covenant of marriage between one man and one woman. Marriage is more than a social contract—it’s a sacred covenant that reflects Christ’s love for the church.
Hebrews 13:4 (NLT) says, “Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.” In other words, God takes marriage seriously—and He calls His people to honor it.
Living together without being married puts couples in a position that often leads to sexual compromise. Even if sex isn’t happening yet, cohabitation creates an appearance and opportunity for sexual immorality, which Scripture warns against.
Sexual Sin in the New Testament
The New Testament speaks clearly and frequently about sexual sin. The Greek word often translated as “sexual immorality” is porneia, a broad term that refers to any sexual activity outside the covenant of marriage. This would include premarital sex, adultery, incest, prostitution, and more.
Jesus used the word in Matthew 15:19 (NLT):
“For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander.”
The Apostle Paul was equally clear in his letters to the early church:
1 Corinthians 6:18 (NLT) says,
“Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.”
Galatians 5:19 (NLT) warns,
“When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures…”
In New Testament times, the Greco-Roman culture was steeped in sexual promiscuity. Premarital sex and extramarital affairs were common and even celebrated in some circles. Christians were called to be radically different. Paul’s repeated commands for sexual purity were countercultural then, just as they are now.
Does the Bible Forbid Premarital Sex?
Though the Bible doesn’t contain a modern-day phrase like “don’t have sex before marriage,” it does use clear moral language. Sexual immorality (porneia) is always condemned, and the only sexual activity that is celebrated in Scripture is that which happens inside a marriage covenant.
1 Thessalonians 4:3 (NLT) says,
“God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin.”
Living together before marriage almost always places couples outside of God’s will for sexual holiness. The Bible gives no category for followers of Jesus living like they’re married without the covenant of marriage itself.
It’s an Issue of Future Trust
Consider this. When you’re married, do you plan on cheating on your spouse? Hopefully not. But here’s something to think about—if you’re okay with sleeping with someone who isn’t your spouse before you get married, what’s stopping you from doing it again afterward?
Today that person might be your boyfriend, girlfriend, or fiancée. A few years from now, it could be a coworker or neighbor. Choosing sexual integrity now lays the foundation for faithfulness later. It builds trust that you’ll continue to honor God and your spouse for the long haul.
Don’t Forget: Love Is a Choice
Don’t forget the first principle of a healthy marriage: love is a choice, not just a feeling. You can start making that choice today. Choosing to honor God as a couple before you get married will pay huge dividends after you say “I do.” Be faithful to God, and choose to be faithful to one another—starting now.
