Jump to Questions

This topic is adapted from the Jefferson Bethke YouTube channel.

What’s the best advice for helping a serious relationship succeed? The answer is having a marriage mentor. They’ve been where you are, struggled through the conflicts, and learned to pursue God through it. Having an older, Godly couple come alongside you in your relationship to support you, work with you, and guide you can be the difference between a healthy relationship and a crumbling one.

[Related Series: Marriage Basics]

Video Highlights:

  • Marriages shouldn’t be on an island. We should have people around us who can speak wisdom into your marriage.
  • Marriage mentors are simply an older couple who is further along in the journey of marriage who can offer godly counsel and wisdom.
  • Don’t wait for someone to approach you. Spend time praying and asking God to bring a couple into your life or find a couple at your church that you respect and invite them to mentor you.
  • Marriage mentors are especially helpful when you are facing a conflict that you are unable to resolve on your own. They can offer guidance, not based on choosing sides, but on what’s in the best interest of both parties.
  • The commitment can be very flexible. It can be weekly, monthly or quarterly. It can be done over the phone or in person.
  • If you’ve been approached to mentor someone, don’t be intimidated by that or feel like your marriage has to be perfect in order to be qualified. Just share your experiences and what you’ve learned over the years.  

We need wise people to help us in our marriages. Don’t be afraid to ask for help whether you’re in crisis or in times of bliss!

[Related: Marriage Mentor Training]

[Related: Contract vs Covenant Marriage]

Discussion Questions:

  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. Who are some people from whom you’ve sought counsel in your life? Why do you trust their perspective?
  4. What are the benefits to seeking counsel from outside sources?
  5. What are some of the bigger issues that you’re currently struggling with in your marriage? How could a marriage mentor couple help you with those issues?
  6. What are some action steps you can take to find a marriage mentor?
  7. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

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