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This topic is adapted from the Christian Marriage Teaching – Art of Marriage YouTube channel.

Having the ability to ask for forgiveness is very important. How you say it makes all the difference.

Really Ask for Forgiveness

Say the words, “Will you forgive me?” not, “I’m sorry I offended you.” The latter isn’t really taking responsibility for your actions. A true apology includes the following: admit you’re wrong, acknowledge why it was wrong and ask for prayer to avoid doing it again.

Forgiveness Opens the Door to Healing

Christians are commanded to forgive because God has forgiven us. And, choosing not to forgive only poisons ourselves with bitterness and robs us of the opportunity to restore the relationship.

Colossians 3:13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Forgiveness Isn’t Forgetting

You aren’t expected to forget hurtful things. But, you can choose not to hold them against your spouse anymore. Once you forgive, you can help your spouse to know how they can show you that they’re sorry through their actions.

[Related: 4 Signs That Your Marriage Is in Trouble]

Discussion Questions:

  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. What do you look for in a genuine apology?
  4. How can you tell when someone isn’t truly sorry?
  5. How have you seen unforgiveness ruin lives?
  6. Read Colossians 3:13. Why does it matter that God first forgave us? How should that change the way we look at situations in our own lives?
  7. What impact will forgiving hearts have on your relationship?
  8. How do you think forgiveness and trust are related? How do you see both of these working in your relationship?
  9. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

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