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This topic is adapted from the pursueGOD Women YouTube channel.

Dating can be both challenging and scary. You can give your heart to the wrong kind of person which can then lead to unhealthy baggage that you carry into the next relationship. In this video, Tracy talks with Jordan about some important principles for healthy dating relationships.

Video Highlights:

  • Principle One: Have the right mindset. Don’t date just for the sake of dating. Be intentional. Date with the mindset that you are “testing” to see if this is a person you could marry. It doesn’t mean you can’t have fun but you need to be clear as to why you’re dating and that you should both be evaluating if this relationship could go the distance.
  • Principle Two: Commit to communication. Be honest about expectations. Be clear about boundaries as it pertains to being physical or when to say “I love you.” It’s also important to communicate how you each feel about the boundaries that are put in place, especially if you don’t like some of them. Be honest but also be considerate. If the other person needs certain boundaries, respect them.
  • Principle Three: Set healthy boundaries. Pay attention to how you spend your time, how you touch, and how you talk. Don’t hang out late at night which could lead to making mistakes physically. And don’t forget about your friend groups. Hang out with other people and don’t spend all your time alone. Have clear boundaries as to how physical you will be and don’t do things that tempt you to go further. Don’t talk about things that could lead to temptation and don’t express love right away. Make sure it means something when you say it.

Don’t go into dating without a plan. Be intentional and use these principles to safeguard your heart and future relationships.

[Related: Dating and Courtship]

[Related: Assumptions about Christian Dating]

[Related: How Far Is too Far in a Dating Relationship?]

Discussion Questions:

  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. What are some mistakes you’ve made in dating? What are some things you wish you could do over?
  4. Why does your mindset toward dating matter? What is likely to happen if you don’t have a plan?
  5. What happens when people have differing expectations in a relationship? Have you  experienced this in your dating relationships? Explain.
  6. Why does honest communication help to build a healthy foundation for a relationship?
  7. Read James 1:13-18. What does this passage say about what leads to sin? What are some good boundaries you can put in place to guard against the temptation of going too far?
  8. Think about the three T’s of time, touch, and talk. Which one is most important to you? Which one would be the hardest for you to manage? Explain.
  9. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

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