Why Control Freaks Get So Anxious

Anxiety has reached epidemic proportions in our culture, and it might have to do with the “illusion of control” that technology has given us. We can reach anyone, anytime at the touch of a button. (And worse yet, they can reach us.) We have instant access to movies and answers and doctors. Like Pharaohs of old, we live in private palaces. And like God, we need only to speak to turn on the lights. 

But it’s all an illusion. The truth is, we have no more control than the cavemen did before us. And that’s why, more than ever, control freaks get so anxious. 

Re-defining Anxiety

Oxford defines anxiety as “a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.” It’s clarifying to add one more phrase to the end of that definition: “…that you can’t control”. The imminent event isn’t the problem. The reason we’re so scared is because we’re not in control. 

For some people, this is a new insight. It’s the revelation, the new sense of out-of-controlness, that usually brings on the panic. The anxiety chapter in the Bible (Philippians 4) offers a surprising antidote to this problem, tailored just for control freaks: 

Philippians 4:4-5 (NLT) Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon.

For Paul’s hearers, this was probably meant to be encouraging. They were suffering persecution as first-century Christians. Life was hard, but there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Take heart: Jesus is coming soon! 

But we have a different problem today: we love our lives! We’ve created heaven on earth, and it’s uncomfortable (and unnecessary) to think about eternity. We hear “The Lord is coming soon…” and we think, “Am I ready? Will I make the cut?” For many of us today, the phrase causes dread! 

Anxiety as a Thorn

That’s the beautiful thing about anxiety. It’s a warning sign, a wake-up call. It brings us back down to earth, and it reminds us of the reality of our condition. We are not in control. We need to re-establish our reliance upon God. 

Paul learned this lesson for himself and passed it on the the church in Corinth: 

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (NLT) So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

We don’t have the specifics about Paul’s thorn in the flesh. It could’ve been his poor eyesight or some sort of incurable disease. But maybe it was plain old anxiety. Paul was, after all, a bit of a control freak. 

Anxiety makes you feel “less than” and opens you up to vulnerability. It shows your weakness. And guess what? That’s a good thing! This thorn in the flesh opens the door to a work of God in and through you.

Who’s on the Throne?

Because here’s the question we’ll all have to answer one day: who is on the throne of your life? Who’s in control, really? 

The prophet Isaiah had that question on his mind when the great King Uzziah died after 52 years on the throne in Israel. His reign brought peace and prosperity like the nation hadn’t known since the times of King David (2 Chronicles 26). Life was good, and then Uzziah died. That’s when Isaiah had his spectacular vision:

Isaiah 6:1 (NLT) It was in the year King Uzziah died that I saw the Lord. He was sitting on a lofty throne, and the train of his robe filled the Temple.

Israel’s illusion of control was exposed when their beloved king passed away. So God gave their prophet Isaiah a timely vision. Author Max Lucado explains it well: 

“Uzziah’s throne was empty, but God’s was occupied. Uzziah’s reign had ended, but God’s had not. Uzziah’s voice was silent, but God’s was strong (Isa. 6:8–10). He was, and is, alive, on the throne, and worthy of endless worship. God calmed the fears of Isaiah, not by removing the problem, but by revealing his divine power and presence.”

God’s divine power and presence. That’s the eternal constant. Whatever crisis you’re facing that seems beyond your control, remember this: nothing has changed. God was in control before your crisis, and he’s still on the throne right now. Everything else is just an illusion.

Rejoice in the Lord  

So what’s the practical response to anxiety for a control freak? The answer is surprisingly simple, and it brings us back to the passage we started with: 

Philippians 4:4 (NLT) Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! 

Philippians is an interesting letter. It was written by Paul from prison, yet the theme is surprising: joy. Paul had a decision to make. He could focus on his prison walls or he could focus on the providence of God. The former would make him anxious and depressed, highlighting his powerlessness. The latter would free him from his dungeon of despair. He chose the latter, and he made a habit of rejoicing in the Lord.

If you’re a control freak, lean into your anxiety. Listen to it, and let it become your teacher. Here’s the lesson you’ll learn: you are not in control, and you never have been. God has always been on the throne, and that’s worth celebrating.