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Trusting someone is one of the most fundamental components of any relationship, be it personal or professional. Trust is the foundation on which relationships are built, and without it, they are likely to crumble. Trust is something that should be earned, not freely given. It takes time and effort to build trust with another person, especially in a marriage.

In marriage, trust is paramount. Without trust, the relationship is likely to suffer. Trust is not something that can be taken for granted, and every spouse needs to work hard to earn and maintain trust from their spouse every day. Trust in a marriage is based on the character of the spouse, not the one who is trusting.

Trust is reactive and measurable. It is something that is built up over time, like a savings account. The more effort and time that is invested in building trust, the greater the return. Trust is also something that can be measured. When someone trusts their spouse, they can point to specifics actions that prove their trustworthiness.

When trust is broken, it can be a painful experience for both spouses. The person who has been betrayed may feel hurt and angry, while the person who has broken the trust may feel guilty and ashamed. This is where forgiveness comes in. Forgiveness is a proactive choice. When someone extends forgiveness to their spouse, it opens the door to restoring broken trust.

In the Bible, Colossians 3:12-13 says, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” This verse reminds us that forgiveness is not only important but also necessary for any relationship to thrive.

In conclusion, trust is an essential component of any relationship, especially in a marriage. It takes time and effort to build trust, and it can be measured over time. Trust is reactive but forgiveness is proactive. By choosing to forgive, we open the door to restoring broken trust and creating a stronger, more resilient relationship.

Talking Points:
  • Trust is relying on the integrity or ability of another person. Your ability to truly trust someone is based on their character, not yours. Deuteronomy 7:9 
  • Trust is earned, not freely given. That’s why every spouse needs to work hard to earn trust from their spouse everyday. 
  • Trust is reactive and measurable. Building trust happens slowly over time, like building up a savings account.  
  • Trust is reactive, but forgiveness is proactive. Extending forgiveness opens the door to restoring broken trust. Colossians 3:12-13
Discussion:
  1. Review the definition of trust. What is the basis of trust? Describe a time you’ve given trust to someone who hadn’t proven their integrity to you? What was the result?
  2. Identify one area where you’ve had a hard time trusting your spouse. Why has it been hard to trust them? Identify an area where your spouse has a hard time trusting you? Why?
  3. Review the 3 components to trust (reactive, measurable, takes time). Think about that area where your spouse has a hard time trusting you. How will you incorporate these components to start building that trust?
  4. Read Deuteronomy 7:9. What does it say about God that He is willing to earn our trust? Share ways God has shown his faithfulness to you.
  5. Read Colossians 3:12-13. What role does forgiveness play in earning trust? Is there an area where you need to extend forgiveness to your spouse, even if he/she still has trust to earn?
  6. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

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