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We hear many voices trying to tell us who we are. But what is true?

Your identity is based on where you find your worth. It is all about which voices you let define you. More often than not, we let society’s voice define us and tell us where we should find our worth. Let’s take a look at the 4 most common myths society tells us about our identity and what God has to say about that.

[Related: Where Do You Find Your Identity?]

Myth #1: You are defined by what you do

The people who are most likely to fall into this myth are those who are constantly striving to achieve something. Their worth is tied to how much they can do and how much success they can obtain. They think that if they aren’t on top or they aren’t perfect, then they aren’t worth anything. They don’t deserve anything.

Ephesians 2:8-9 (NIV) For it is by grace that you have been saved, through faith–and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God–not by works, so that not one can boast.

You cannot work your way to worth. Your worth come from the gift that God has given you. You don’t have to be on top in order to be worthy in God’s eyes. This means that even when you fall short, even when you don’t succeed, you are worthy.

[Related: Everything That’s True of Jesus Is True of You]

Myth #2: You are defined by what you look like

This is the person who always has to have to best clothes, the prettiest hair, or the best body. They seek their satisfaction and fulfillment through the physical aspects of themself. These are the people who look in the mirror and decide that if they aren’t the best looking then they aren’t worth anything.

Psalm 139:14 (NIV) I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

God made us on purpose. He made you exactly the way you are and you are perfect in his eyes. He doesn’t care how your hair looks or how expensive your clothes are. Your worth to him is solely based on the fact that he created you in his image and you are a work of art.

Myth #3: You are defined by who you know

These are the people pleasers. The ones who tie all of their worth to the acceptance they can receive from others. They base their identity on the amount of friends they have or how well known they are in their social circles.

Galatians 3:26 So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith.

You don’t have to have the most friends. You don’t have to have perfect relationship. God has given us the most perfect and valuable relationship with him through Christ. He is the only person we have to know. We are made worthy through our relationship with him.

Myth #4: You are defined by what you’ve done

The people who are in danger of believing this myth are the ones who struggle with drug addiction, eating disorders, or even unplanned pregnancies. They base all of their worth on the mistakes they’ve already made. They believe they will never be worth anything because they have messed up in the past.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV) Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here.

You are made new in Christ. Your past mistakes are no longer relevant in your life. Through your relationship with Christ you are given a new life with which you can now choose to honor God. You are made whole and worthy through his forgiveness and grace.

[Related: Your Identity in Christ]

We can call these 4 things myths because God’s word is the truth and tells us quite the opposite. We must place our trust in God and find our worth in him. So, when it comes to defining yourself don’t listen to society’s voice, listen to God’s voice.

Discussion Questions:

  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. What are some myths you believed when you were younger? When and how did you learn the truth?
  4. List out the 4 identity myths. Which one do you struggle most with, and why?
  5. Read Ephesians 2:8-9. How does this bust the 1st myth?
  6. Read Psalm 139:14. How does this bust the 2nd myth?
  7. Read Galatians 3:26. How does this bust the 3rd myth?
  8. Read 2 Corinthians 5:17. How does this bust the 4th myth?
  9. “The story you tell with your life is going to be dictated by the voices you listen to.” Which voices tell you lies about yourself? Identify them (name the people, movies, etc). How can you limit their negative influence on your life?
  10. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

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