One of our greatest needs is to be understood by others. This is especially true for a healthy marriage. Learn what it means to really listen so your spouse can feel most understood by you.
Talking Points:
- Real listening is about validating and appreciating what your spouse is saying and trying to put yourself in their shoes.
- Listening can seem like a passive response because it feels like you’re accepting fault if you don’t respond, but that’s not true.
- Being a good listener isn’t a character or personality trait, but a skill that can be learned and practiced. You can choose to be empathetic and attentive. James 1:19
This topic is adapted from the book The Lost Art of Listening by Michael Nichols, PhD.
Discussion Questions:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- Who is the best listener you know? What makes them stand out as a great listener?
- On a scale of 1-10, how often do you feel understood by your spouse? Explain. What number would your spouse give you? Explain.
- How do you know if your spouse is really listening to you or not?
- In your own words, what’s the difference between empathetic listening versus just listening? What are the specific skills that a great listener possesses?
- What does it communicate to you when your spouse really shows that they want to understand your perspective?
- What is the benefit of asking good questions of your spouse? How does that help you to become a better listener?
- Read James 1:19. What typically happens when you and your spouse have a disagreement? How would it impact your argument if you were both quick to listen and slow to speak?
- Read Matthew 7:24. Listening is important in our spiritual journey as well. What is wisdom and how does listening help you to become wiser?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
