Watch the video above and talk about it with a group or mentor. Learn more.

This is part 1 in the After the Affair series.

All hope isn't lost after an affair. Your marriage can be saved if you have forgiveness and humility.

There is hope after an affair. Your marriage can be saved and can even be stronger and healthier if you have two crucial ingredients:

#1 A Forgiving Heart from the One Who Was Offended

The greatest predictor of success for saving your marriage is the ability of the “offended” party to forgive. The only way to move forward in your marriage is if forgiveness leads the way. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck and unable to start the healing process.

[Related: The Importance of Forgiveness in Marriage]

#2 A Humble Heart from the “Offender”

It doesn’t matter the reasons or justifications, the “offender” has to own their poor choices and acknowledge the pain they’ve inflicted on their spouse and family.

Colossians 3:12-13 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

The first part of the verse speaks to the attitude the offender needs to have. You’ll have to endure hard questions and be patient with your spouse as they catch up with where you’ve been in your dissatisfaction with the marriage and the allure of someone else. The offended spouse needs to give the gift of forgiveness.

If these two ingredients are at work in your marriage, there is hope for you.

See Also: Forgiveness, Marriage

Talk About It
  1. What is your initial reaction to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. As of today, do you have hope for your marriage? Explain.
  3. Why is forgiveness so important to saving your marriage?
  4. What are the pitfalls if you can’t forgive?
  5. Why is a humble heart so important to saving your marriage?
  6. What are the pitfalls if humility isn’t present in the offender?
  7. Read Colossians 3:12-13. What responsibilities do these verses highlight for both the offender and the offended?
  8. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.