Research proves that our actions have more to do with shaping how we feel the the other way around.

Falling out of love with your spouse doesn’t just happen in a day or in a moment. It happens over time and is a reflection of your overall attitude and effort.

It means you haven’t prioritized your relationship

It’s hard to maintain the same level of excitement and interest the longer your married. In the early years, you’re still discovering things about one another. But, over time, there is less to discover and things can seem boring. Due to this changing dynamic, you’ve made decisions that have caused you to pull apart from your spouse. It’s hard to feel love when you aren’t connected to or constantly building into your relationship. But, the good news is, you can make some adjustments that can rekindle your interest.

Think about the early years when you were in love

Think back to the early days when it was easy to love your spouse. Think about the things you did to nurture the relationship. Were you spending more time together, touching more, and sharing hobbies? Those are the things you need to get back to doing if you want to feel that love again.

The best way to change how you feel is by taking action

You can’t live your life waiting to feel a certain way before you take action. Research proves the opposite to be true. When you take action toward something, the feelings follow. Engage in your relationship, again, and you will be surprised at how quickly the feelings return.

Discussion:
  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. Can you identify when you started feeling disconnected from your spouse? Describe.
  4. Describe how the relationship has changed since feeling disconnected.
  5. Describe how your relationship worked in the early days.
  6. Evaluate the formula: taking action usually determines how you feel. How have you seen this play out in your marriage?
  7. What are some actions you can take toward re-connecting with your spouse?
  8. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
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