Jump to Questions

Some statistics say that up to two-thirds of couples live together before getting married. How should a Christian think about this? Is it OK with God?

The biblical answer is clear.

The issue here is obviously sex before marriage, not just cohabitation. And the Bible is clear on that. It teaches that the gift of sex is designed for one man and one woman in the context of a committed marriage.

Hebrews 13:4 Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.

1 Corinthians 7:2-3 But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.3The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs.

It’s a simple matter of honoring God.

It’s hard to live according to the Bible in a culture that sees nothing wrong with pre-marital sex. You’ll be tempted to justify living together because everyone is doing it. You might even argue that it will make your marriage stronger. But all of that ignores the real issue. The question is simply whether or not you want to live to honor God in everything you do.

It’s an issue of future trust.

Consider this. When you are married, do you plan on cheating on your spouse? I hope not. Yet it makes sense that if you are okay with sleeping with someone who isn’t your spouse before you get married, you’ll be okay with sleeping with someone who isn’t your spouse after you get married. Today that person is your fiancée. In a few years it might be a coworker or neighbor.

Marital love is a choice you start making now.

Don’t forget the first principle of a healthy marriage: love is a choice not just a feeling. You can start making that choice today. Choosing to honor God as a couple before you get married will pay huge dividends after you get married. Be faithful to God, and choose to be faithful to one another.

Discussion Questions:

  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. How many friends do you know who are living with their boyfriend or girlfriend? What’s their motivation for it?
  4. On a scale of 1-10, how committed are you to honoring God in your life? Defend your answer.
  5. Do you agree that how you interact sexually with your girlfriend or boyfriend now is an indicator of you how might interact with women or men who are not your spouse later? Explain.
  6. Do you believe love is a choice? Explain.
  7. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

Ministry Tools: