Jump to Questions

This topic is adapted from the SketchX YouTube channel. See the FLEXTALK version of this topic.

Here are three questions you can use regularly to keep a gauge on your marriage.

[Related: The 5 Love Languages in 2 Minutes]

#1 How Am I Doing with Sharing the Burdens of Family Life?

This includes chores, raising the kids, and spending the money. This a question you’ll always be returning to in your marriage. “How can I do better?” is is a great follow-up question to ask as well. This is where you can give practical feedback to your spouse and can help you improve in the future.

#2 How Am I Doing at Making Our Relationship a Priority?

How you are you doing when it comes to caring for your spouse and building into your marriage? What can you do to show that you are committed to your spouse as they are to you? The follow-up question is the same as in #1: “How can I be better?” Are you creating space and time for your spouse, or just “clocking in” to the marriage like you “clock in” at a dead-end job?

[Related: How to Ruin Your Marriage | Bad Advice #3]

#3 How Am I Doing with Communication?

How are you talking to one another? Is one of you angry all the time, and it makes the other want to withdraw? Are you trying to be a mind-reader instead of just asking your spouse how they’re doing? You can’t ignore the pivotal act of consistent communication in marriage. You have to communicate expectations, feelings, and thoughts, and you have to ask your spouse how you can improve.

[Related: Why Does Marriage Seem Harder Today Than Ever Before?]

It’s always important to to ask these three questions and to not simply highlight problems, but solutions. The practical application question “How can I be better” is key if you’re going to move beyond your problems and reach beneficial solutions.

Written content for this topic by Daniel Martin.

Discussion Questions:

  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. How are you doing at sharing the burdens of family life in marriage?
  4. How can you do this better?
  5. How are you doing at prioritizing your marriage relationship?
  6. How can you do this better?
  7. How are you doing with communication in marriage?
  8. How can you do this better?
  9. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

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