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Interested in a dating relationship while still honoring God in the process? Pastor Ben Stuart gives a few basic tips for Christian guys who want to honor God in the dating and courtship years.

You’re brothers and sisters.

In the Bible, there is only “brother and sister” or “husband and wife”. There’s not really some middle place that our culture calls “dating”. Spend time with her, but treat her with purity like you would a sister.

1 Timothy 5:2 Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.

Position yourself for purity.

Bottom line: use all of your resources to encourage her to pursue God. You are not her husband; you have no stake or claim in her life. Treat her with purity. Spend time in groups, or in public places. Don’t put yourself in a position to stumble.

Romans 13:12-14 The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here. So remove your dark deeds like dirty clothes, and put on the shining armor of right living. Because we belong to the day, we must live decent lives for all to see. Don’t participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy. Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don’t let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires.

Prep for the friendship of marriage.

Remember that when you’re married, you’ll be spending a lot of time just being together. Do you like hanging out with this person? There will be a lot of that in marriage. Do you enjoy each other’s company? Will you be good friends? The physical desires will follow.

Discussion Questions:

  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. Can you think of any place in scripture where it talks about dating? Why do you think it’s such a big part of our culture?
  4. Read 1 Timothy 5:2. How do you treat a sister? Make a list. How do most guys treat their girlfriends? Make another list. Compare and discuss.
  5. Read Romans 13:12-14. What do you think it means to “clothe yourself with the presences of the Lord”? What practical things can you do to make this happen?
  6. Think of a married couple you know and respect. What percentage of their time do they spend in “friendship” activities? What percentage do they spend in “romantic intimacy”? Now answer the same questions for a dating couple you know. What advice would you have for that couple?
  7. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

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