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So you’re a Christian couple, you are dating or are engaged, and you have already crossed that ultimate boundary. What do you do if you have had sex before marriage? Is it too late to start honoring God in that area of your relationship?

Step One: Tell Someone

The first step is to admit it to someone in your life. A friend, a mentor, or a small group leader will do just fine. Satan loves to capitalize on your secrets. He wants nothing more than to make you feel shameful about it so you will quietly keep doing it. So tell someone, and you will be on your way to victory.

Step Two: Stop Doing It

Once you have told someone, you can make a fresh commitment to stop having sex before marriage. God’s word is clear about what honors him, and he wants you to have purity in your dating relationships. If you need more convincing on this point, check out some other topics related to sex before marriage on PursueGOD.org.

Step Three: Draw Better Boundaries

Making a one-time decision to not have sex until marriage is not good enough. Eventually, you will fall back into that habit if you do not set up proper boundaries in your life. Be honest about the situations that lead you into temptation, and do everything you can to ruthlessly eliminate those situations.

If you have crossed the line and have had sex before marriage, it is not too late for you. If you truly have a desire to honor God with your everyday decisions, you can have a fresh start in this important area of sexual purity.

[Related Topic: Dating]

Discussion Questions:

  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. If you have had sex before marriage, who do you trust and respect enough to tell? How do you think they’ll react?
  4. Read 1 Corinthians 6:18. What do you think it means to be “sexually immoral”? Why is different than other sins?
  5. Read 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5. God teaches us to “control our own bodies in holiness and honor”. What does the culture encourage us to do?
  6. Read Hebrews 13:4. What does it mean to keep the marriage bed “undefiled”? Are you committed to doing it? Is your boyfriend/girlfriend committed?
  7. Make a list of some boundaries you need to draw in order to not cross over the line again. Share that list with a mentor or friend.
  8. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

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