This topic is adapted from the PursueGOD Mentor YouTube channel.
Cory and Ronda are seasoned PursueGod marriage mentors, and they share some tips and methods for using the model to its full potential.
When first meeting your mentee couple, use the opportunity for introductions. Ask questions, and open the path for active conversation. This will be a segway into you and your spouse introducing yourselves more thoroughly to the couple, and them to you. If the couple is Christian, ask them about their walks with God.
Some mentor couples may be intimidated by the idea of counseling another couple. However, your goal is not to diagnose what is “wrong” with their marriage, but to walk shoulder to shoulder with your mentee couple. They should feel comfortable being vulnerable with you. Focus on encouraging the mentee couple to communicate with each other and to have Christ be the glue in their family. If the couple you’re mentoring is not Christian, be careful not to push biblical themes at first. Ease into that aspect of mentoring, and with the help of the videos, the topic of a relationship with God should come up naturally.
When it comes to conversation, let the mentee couple lead. You should aim to do about fifteen percent of the talking, whereas the mentee couple should do the rest. Asking open-ended questions makes conversation much easier, and many questions are provided in the article section of the video page. Typically, you will mentor couples that are already married, but in the event that you mentor a premarital couple, adjust questions as necessary to best fit their situation.
When it comes to the rest of your meetings with the mentee couple, watch a new video each week in the Marriage Basics series. However, if there is a topic on PursueGod.org that seems more fitting for that week, feel free to pull away from the series and find a resource that fits the couple’s needs. Encourage the couple to use PursueGod resources at home, and if they are not sure how to navigate the site, take time to show them.
Our ultimate goal is to encourage mentees to mentor other couples. Try to help the mentee couple find a small group they would fit into and even find a ministry they are passionate about. Each ministry also has information and resources on PursueGod.org if they need to see what options exist.
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- What can be the initial hurdles to overcome when you first sit down with a couple?
- Come up with a few open-ended questions that could get conversation started with a hesitant mentee couple. Why are these questions helpful for mentoring?
- Think back to before you became a marriage mentor. What did your mentors say or do that encouraged you to become a mentor yourself? How can you use that in your current mentoring relationships?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.