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This topic is adapted from The Gospel Coalition.

Pastors are often judged by their ministry success and it’s assumed they are good parents on this basis. Being a gifted teacher, preacher, or church leader is not a guarantee that a pastor is doing great with his family.

Video Highlights:

  • Kent Hughes’s wife kept him in check when he was giving too much time and energy to ministry and not enough to his family.
  • A man’s qualification for ministry is rooted in his commitment and success at being a husband and a father.
  • Dads are absent and deemphasized in our culture. This means it must be both modeled and taught.
  • We need to be praying for our children in detail. You can’t be a good father and not do this.
  • You cannot live under the adage, “Do what I say, not what I do.” It is not that we should model fatherhood perfectly, but we should simply not be hypocrites in our attitudes and behaviors.
  • Faithfulness, prayer, transparency, and not being a hypocrite are important gauges in reflecting on our ministries and our presence in the home.

[Related Category: Pastoring]

Pastors can often give too much of their time and energy to their ministry and not enough to their wives and children. If you are working in ministry, take stock of how you are spending your time and energy. Make sure your commitments are to what comes first: your personal devotion to God, and your promises to love, support, and care for your family.

Written content for this topic by Daniel Martin.

Discussion Questions:

  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. Does your spouse keep you in check when it comes to time between work and family? Explain.
  4. Do you think Titus 1:6 and 1 Timothy 3 justify the statement: “The very qualification for serving in ministry is rooted and grounded in the evaluation of [a pastor’s] role as a husband and a father?” Explain.
  5. “Ministry is a character profession.” Explain what this means.
  6. Are you open to correction from others, both people who serve or work alongside you as well as your spouse? Explain.
  7. How do you interpret Titus 1:6b? Explain.
  8. “I don’t raise my children for my congregation’s approval; I raise them for the Lord.” What are some applicable examples of this statement from your own experience?
  9. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

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