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This topic is adapted from the PursueGOD Men YouTube channel. See the FLEXTALK version.

Dads have to do more than work a nine-to-five to provide for their kids. Especially if you have daughters, it’s important to be present and to have a good relationship with your daughters to set a good example for her future relationships and her sense of self.

Video Highlights

  • Dads, your daughter’s relationship with you is the first picture she’ll have of what a future relationship will look like. It will in some ways define her expectations and desires for a romantic relationship. If you are cold and distant, there’s a good chance she’ll seek cold, distant men. If you’re not affirming and encouraging, she’ll crave affirmation – and not necessarily from good places or people. If you’re loving and affirming, she’ll feel confident and safe with men and will seek out loving, affirming men as partners.
  • Dads should take their daughters on dates – and not just once a year. Make it a regular habit. This will communicate to your daughters that they are valuable to you. They have a special time with you that belongs only to you and them – this is not something they’ll forget as they grow.
  • Don’t wait until your daughters are teenagers before you begin investing in them. Even from a young age, it’s important to be present and to be personal. Pastor Bryan suggests beginning to take your daughters on “dates” as early as six years old, but you can begin even earlier than that.
  • People like to talk about themselves. Take time to engage with your daughters and to find out what they care about.
  • Tracy remembers her own father teaching her the traits to look for in a husband. When she began dating, she looked for these traits that her father had not only taught her, but modeled for her.
  • Fathering sons and daughters is not the same thing! Most fathers find it easier to relate to their sons, and daughters can be daunting to raise. It’s important to get to know them and to show them attention, affection, and care. They need to see that you care for them and are invested in their emotional lives.

Don’t wait. Start this week to make your daughters a priority if you haven’t yet. It’s never too soon to start investing and helping your daughters become functional, amazing women.

[Related: The Dad Scorecard: Four Ways to Invest in Your Kids]

[Related: Two Ways to Be There for Your Kids | Point Man #2]

[Related: Don’t Play the Comparison Game with Your Kids]

Written content for this topic by Daniel Martin.

Discussion Questions:

  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. Would you describe yourself as an affirming, encouraging father to your daughter/daughters? What are some examples of how you are affirming and encouraging?
  4. Were your parents affirming and encouraging to you? Explain.
  5. Have you seen in your wife or in other grown women how their relationships with their fathers have shaped them? Give one positive example and one negative example of this.
  6. What sort of “date” would your daughters enjoy going on with you? Why would they enjoy this?
  7. What questions can you ask your daughters to get them thinking and talking about their futures? Why are these questions uniquely relevant for your daughter/daughters?
  8. Will you commit to investing in your daughter this week? Why or why not?
  9. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

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