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This topic is adapted from the Blimey Cow YouTube channel.

[Related: Assumptions About Christian Dating]

[Related: How to Date and Honor God in the Process]

Video Highlights:

  • “Being intentional.” This doesn’t mean dating has to be about a “checklist,” but it does mean dating with the right mindset: that being in a romantic relationship isn’t just about having a boyfriend or girlfriend, but that you respect yourself and the other person enough to know that the real point of dating someone is to learn if you want to be married to them This doesn’t mean rushing into marriage, either. It means you know why you are dating.
  • “Youth group dating.” A lot of times, people will go to youth group so they can meet a boyfriend or girlfriend! They might also have unrealistic expectations about what it means to find a mate. Don’t be fooled: just because someone prays during prayer time or helps lead worship does not mean they are “super-spiritual” and that you should be together. No matter how old you are, it takes time, commitment, and respect to learn if you are truly compatible with another person. Don’t jump the gun.
  • Take your time and trust God. You’re not broken or defective if you’re single. Most people aren’t done with adolescence until they are twenty-five years old, which means many people who date in their teens or early twenties still have a lot of growing up to do. This is a big part of why a lot of couples break up. They’re not mature enough to realize what they truly want and need out of a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife.

It takes time to figure these things out. Pursue God, trust him, serve him, love people, and you’ll be okay.

[Related: Dating and Courtship]

[Related: How Far Is Too Far in a Dating Relationship?]

[Related: Unequally Yoked – Dating Nonbelievers]

[Related: What to Look for in a Potential Spouse]

Written content for this topic by Daniel Martin.

Discussion Questions:

  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. In biblical times, most people married because their parents picked their husband or wife for them! In some cultures today, this is still common. It might sound weird, but do you think there are actually good things about arranged marriages? What are some of these good things?
  4. On a scale of one to ten, how important is dating to you? Is your score higher or lower than that of your friends?
  5. In your opinion, what’s the goal of dating?
  6. Give an example of a young couple who dated well. Why do you think they dated well?
  7. Are there any older couples you look up to who have a good marriage? Is it this kind of marriage you would hope to have one day? Why or why not?
  8. How can dating go bad? Give an example.
  9. Explain “youth group dating.” Is youth group dating a good idea? Why or why not?
  10. What do your parents think about dating? What do you think? What do you think God would say about it?
  11. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

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