This topic is adapted from the Christian Marriage Teaching – Art of Marriage YouTube channel.

[Related Series: The 5 Love Languages]

“Cherishing” our wives (from a Greek word in Ephesians 5:29 that can mean “to keep warm,” “to nourish”) is a biblical teaching exemplifying how husbands should love their wives. Dennis Rainey explains some of what that looks like in marriage here.

Show Gratitude

A man’s duty in a marriage relationship is to cherish his wife. Husbands should encourage and care for their wives, always making it known that they are gifts and blessings from God himself. One way husbands can do this is by thanking their wives for doing the little things – like folding the laundry. Husbands should have an attitude of gratitude toward their wives, always blessing them and living from a disposition of thankfulness.

Love Sacrificially

Another duty for husbands is to love their wives as Christ loves the church – sacrificially. This is a lifetime assignment that requires lifelong effort and will probably result in many failures. Despite these many failures, our assignment from God as husbands is to love our wives as Christ loves us. We do this by dying to ourselves, which means putting the needs and greater good of our wives above our own desires. If your wife is depressed or lonely, you should take that as a big hint not to head down to the bar for the evening, even if you’ve been promising the guys you’d come for weeks. This kind of self-sacrificial love is a non-negotiable part of being a godly husband.

[Related: Do You Love Your Spouse Like Christ Loves You?]

The Greek word for “cherish” teaches us not just to have warm, fuzzy feelings about our wives, but to demonstrate love in action by caring for our wives’ physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. By showing gratitude for our wives, encouraging and blessing them, and caring sacrificially for them, we can strengthen our marriages and more closely follow the model exemplified by Jesus.

Written content for this topic by Daniel Martin.

Discussion Questions:

  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. What are some ways you’ve succeeded at cherishing your wife? What are some ways you’ve failed? Explain.
  4. Read Ephesians 5:25-30. What does it mean to love your wife “sacrificially?” Are you loving your wife “sacrificially” at present? Explain.
  5. What are some practical ways you can “cherish” your wife more? How would these things show love to your wife uniquely?
  6. What does your wife need to receive from you most right now? Explain.
  7. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

Ministry Tools: