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If you’re a true follower of God, you know that the Bible teaches that sex should be saved for marriage. But can you still cohabitate if you promise to be good? Pastor Todd offers some helpful insights into answering the question, “Is it okay to live with my boyfriend/girlfriend if we’re not having sex?”

[Related: Should you have sex before marriage?]

Video Highlights:

  • It’s seems like a dangerous idea to live with someone with whom you’re attracted to and not want to have sex with them. It’s just inviting temptation and trouble. The Bible tells us to do the opposite. (1 Corinthians 6:18).
  • Statistics on cohabitation don’t bode well for having a successful marriage. Couples who cohabitate are 67% less likely to get married. Cohabitating couples are also more likely to have affairs. Living together before marriage actually decreases satisfaction once those couples marry. It truly isn’t a good test for marriage.
  • As Christians, there is more to consider about cohabitation than just the matter of sex. We are to avoid even the appearance of evil and should not be a stumbling block to others. So, living together creates certain assumptions from others that you are having sex, even if you aren’t. Also, your choices can affect others in a negative way. If a friend sees you cohabitating, they may think it’s okay for them to cohabitate. The point is, there is more at stake than just abstaining from sex. As Christians, we should never want to make choices that could lead others astray. (1 Thessalonians 5:21-22, 1 Corinthians 8:9, 2 Corinthians 6:3)
  • Even staying at a boyfriend/girlfriend’s house for just a weekend visit, these same issues still apply. It’s still dangerous and unwise. (Proverbs 18:1)

[Related: Foundations #2 – We live to honor God]

[Related: How far is too far in a dating relationship]

Discussion Questions:

  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. Do you believe God calls us to sexual purity in our dating relationships? Why or why not?
  4. What are the biggest reasons couples use to live together before they get married? Do you think they are valid excuses? Explain.
  5. Read 1 Corinthians 8:9. How does this relate to this topic?
  6. Do the statistics on cohabitation surprise you? Explain. Why do you think cohabitating works against a healthy marriage?
  7. Read 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22. What are some risky choices that will lead to trouble for cohabitating relationships?
  8. Read 1 Corinthians 6:18. What does this verse tell us to do? How should this verse shape the choices you make in your relationship?
  9. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

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