Jump to Questions

This topic is adapted from the MenSteppingUp YouTube channel.

What does it mean to be a man of God? Is going to church enough? What steps can men take to come closer to God’s vision for a man? The worldly version of a good man is radically different than the biblical vision. The world can blur the moral and biblical ideals a man of God strives to keep. An important step toward becoming a more godly man is building godly relationships with other men.

We Need Each Other

Sometimes it can feel like it flies in the face of the “Man Code” to ask for help. Nothing could be further from the truth. Men aren’t meant to fly solo in this life, and there are many benefits to opening up to brothers in Christ. Proverbs 27:17 says “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” This verse is hinting at the relationships between men who are able to be real, honest, and vulnerable with one another. During this exchange between friends, each man sharpens the other. In other words, they make each other more efficient and effective tools in the hands of God.

You Get What You Give

An authentic relationship must exist before men can go deeper in conversation. Men won’t disclose information unless they feel they have confidentiality. As trust is built, vulnerability will become easier. There is always a sticky spot where one person may be sharing on a deeper level and the listener may make the mistake of only listening. If a friend is willing to put themselves out there with sensitive information it’s important to reciprocate. Relating to experiences shared will bring benefits two fold. One, the sharer will feel heard and understood. Two, when reciprocating a similar experience, men will built a stronger bond together and also receive the benefit of feeling understood.

Confidence in Forgiveness

When men share with each other they build each other up. Alone it can be easy to genuinely pray for forgiveness but feel as though too much damage has been done to be truly forgiven. It can make all the difference in the world to have a man say, “You messed up but it happens. You have prayed with a genuine heart and you are forgiven. Quit beating yourself up!” Men have the amazing chance to build each others’ confidence in forgiveness. Hearing another person reaffirm God’s forgiveness can help lift that weight and point toward becoming a more godly man.

[Related: The Difference Between Good Guilt and Bad Guilt]

Truly becoming a man of God is marathon, not a sprint. Don’t run the race in vain and don’t burn out before the finish line. Find a mentor or a friend who can enter into an authentic character-building friendship. Together men can experience acceptance and a clearer vision of who they truly are. The road to becoming a more godly man doesn’t need to be tread alone.

Written content for this topic by Jesse Price.

Discussion Questions:

  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. What kind of barriers do you need to break through to be able to share authentically? Name just one barrier and explain why it’s a challenge for you.
  4. Do you ever ask God for forgiveness but feel like you don’t deserve it? Explain.
  5. Have you ever said something just to fit in with other guys? Have you ever held back anything you wanted to share? Explain.
  6. What areas of your life would most benefit from you sharing with another man? Explain.
  7. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.

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