If you and your boyfriend or girlfriend are seriously considering marriage as the next step in your relationship, take time to ponder the following questions.
1. Are you a trustworthy person?
Trust is a huge component of marriage. It is based on the integrity of someone and as such needs to be earned. If you think you are ready for marriage you need to make sure that you are a trustworthy person. Work on becoming a trustworthy person by showing integrity in all aspects of your life, for example through sexual purity. Keeping yourself sexually pure with your boyfriend or girlfriend is an act of integrity and it builds trust.
Proverbs 25:19 Putting trust in an unreliable person is like chewing with a toothache or walking on a broken foot.
2. Are you ready for a life-long commitment?
The Bible regards marriage as a lifelong commitment and the only thing that should end a marriage is death. Furthermore, the biblical version of love is very different from what we see in television and in movies. It involves being selfless and focusing on the other person’s needs and desires. Are you ready to do that for one person for the rest of your life?
Matthew 19:4-6 4 “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’ 5 And he said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ 6 Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
3. How is my relationship with God?
The most important relationship in your life is your relationship with God, which in turn affects every other relationship in your life. First, take time to figure out what God wants for your life and what it means to be a follower of Jesus.
4. Am I free to get married?
According to the Bible not everyone is free to get married, especially in instances such as divorce. Before deciding to get married again look at what the Bible has to say about divorce and then speak with another Christian about it; preferably someone older and wiser. Some Bible verses to look at are 1 Corinthians 7 and Matthew 5:31-32. Consider your decision carefully before committing to marriage again.
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- Describe an actual marriage (not fictionalized like in television or movies) that you would you most like to emulate? What makes it noteworthy?
- On a scale of 1 to 10 how trustworthy would your friends say you are? Explain.
- Read Matthew 19:5-6. Are you ready to commit to God’s standard of marriage? How will you keep this level of unity in your relationship?
- Why is it important to be strong in your relationship with God before marriage?
- What is one area of your life you would like to improve before you get married? (i.e. a character quality like developing integrity, or a habit like budgeting well.)
- Read 1 Corinthians 7 and Matt. 5:31-32. What do these passages teach you about getting remarried? Are you submitting to God’s will in remarriage?
- List the reasons for and against getting married at this stage of your life and discuss your answers with a mentor.
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.