Love is important. The word “love” is found over 500 times in the Bible! God has gone to great lengths to model love for us. We need to follow that example and work at loving our kids the way God intended.
Tip #1: Your teen needs your love.
God created all of us with a need to be loved. He created us to be connected to others, not disconnected. Your teen is at a pivotal point in their development of figuring out who they are and their worth in society. They need to know that they are loved by you. If they don’t feel that love, they will seek it from somewhere or someone else.
Tip #2: Speak love with your words.
Your teen needs to hear loving words from you. “I love you” “I’m proud of you”. “You’re beautiful/ handsome”, “you’re smart”. This is the most direct way to love. Words are powerful and they will remember your loving words just like they will remember the unloving things that are said.
Tip #3: Show love with your actions.
The easiest way to do this is through your time. Spend quality time together. Show your teen that you’re willing to put all else aside to spend time with them. Another way to show love is with your affection.
Tip #4: Celebrate your teen’s uniqueness.
Your teen is a unique creation of God’s. Take time to celebrate their uniqueness. Praise them for their individual talents and accomplishments. Make sure that they don’t feel compared to other siblings but stand out in their own right. Pay attention to the things they care about and find ways to connect with them over those things.
Psalm 139:13-18 you made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. 15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. 16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. 17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! 18 I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- On a scale from 1-10, how good are you at loving your teen? Where could you improve? Where would your teen say you could improve?
- Where do teens seek love if they don’t get it from home? What are the dangers that can come from this?
- Why are words important in expressing love?
- Why is it also important to show love?
- What more can actions communicate that words can’t?
- What are some ways you can connect with your teen?
- Why should you celebrate the unique qualities of your teen? What can happen in a family if this is absent?
- Are you familiar with the love languages. What do you guess your teen’s language might be? How can that information help you to love your teen better?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.